Sex and Violence: A Love Story
by jfine
Summary: I delve into the new season and shake things up. Tony's ready to settle down, but he's also angry, but at who? Join the adventure as I seek to calm his soul with another, maybe at a vending machine or two. Wouldn't that be nice? Tiva, of course.
1. Anger Mismanagement

"How long has it been since you've...seen him, Ziva?" McGee asked, sitting at his desk.

Ziva turned slightly in her chair, lowering a steaming hot cup of tea from her lips, "Nearly 6 months."

"Wow, that's a l..."

"Yes. A long time, McGee...believe me, I know." Ziva acknowledged. She lifted her tea back up and took a sip, letting out a sigh before setting the stryofoam cup safely back on her desk. Suddenly something skipped off the top of her desk and landed on her keyboard. She quickly turned seeing Tony passing by her desk, "Hey!"

"I'm not your messenger service, Ziva." Tony stated, tossing his backpack behind his desk and turned back towards Ziva.

"What are you talking about?" A confused Ziva asked, picking up Tony's cell phone from her keyboard.

"First of all, how does he know my number and secondly, why in the hell is he calling me, not once, not twice, but three times reminding me to ask you to bring your empty box tonight so he can put something in it. Is he trying to piss me off?"

"Ray said that?" Ziva nervously laughed. Tony wasn't in a joking mood and she could definitely tell it, "It is not about sex, it is about the empty ring box he gave me and I gave him your number, he wanted to talk to you, I did not see the harm in it."

McGee gritted his teeth, "Ray gave you an empty ring box?"

Ziva looked towards McGee, "Yes, why?"

McGee looked away, not wanting to go near that discussion.

"And you didn't knee him in the nuts?" Tony questioned.

Ziva laughed, "Why would I?"

Tony rolled his eyes, "Jeez, how fucking desperate are you?" He groaned.

"Excuse me?" Ziva exclaimed. She placed her hands on her desk and aggressively pushed herself up from her seat.

"And oh, by the way, when he calls...tell him stop referring to me as your big brother or better yet, I'll just get a new phone."

"And what the hell does that mean?" Ziva scoffed and started to get mad.

"Uhhh, I'll go..." McGee stood up from his desk trying to escape whatever was happening between Tony and Ziva. He slowly began to move away from them, "...get a Nut..."

"No need, McGee, I have to take a piss anyway." Tony walked away, leaving a visually shaken Ziva standing behind her desk.

"Ziva? You okay?"

Hearing McGee's voice made Ziva react. She hastily moved out from behind her desk and followed Tony. She threw open the bathroom door, "How dare you!"

Tony calmly zipped up his pants and flushed the urinal and moved over to the sink and started washing his hands. He grabbed a paper towel and dried them. He scrunched up the paper towel and tossed it into the trash bin. He then walked over to Ziva and stopped looking down at her.

"Are you going to say anything?" Ziva questioned, lost to what was going on.

"Oh, I was waiting for you to tell me I was jealous. I always LOVE that part."

Ziva shook her head and grabbed the handle to open the door, but Tony shoved his palm against the door, slamming it shut. She turned back, looking up into his eyes, "Why are you doing this?" She whispered, "What did I do?"

Tony lowered his hand from the door, "Nothing."

"Then why are you mad at me?"

"Because you did that..." Tony answered, "Nothing."

"W-what does that mean?"

"He really gave you an empty ring box?"

Ziva slowly nodded.

"Which Ziva is for real then, huh? The one before three years ago or the one I'm looking at now? Where's the Ziva who didn't take shit from anyone? The one who counted the number of times I got punched. Where's that Ziva?"

"Tony...what am I suppose to tell you? I was..."

"Or maybe she was just a lie, too?"

"Why are you saying this?" Ziva questioned, "Why now?"

"Because the Ziva I knew would've castrated him, placed his balls in that box and shoved it down his throat!" Tony composed himself and cleared his throat, "Tell me, where's that Ziva?"

"I have changed Tony, I-I-I want something more, something permanent."

"Yeah, we all want something...I'd like MY Ziva back...I miss her."

"Y-your Ziva?"

Tony cupped Ziva's cheek and half-heartedly smiled, "Brothers and sisters are suppose to love each other...not be in love with each other." He let his fingers slip from her face and gracefully left the restroom.

Ziva leaned back against the door, trying to take it all in. She was more confused now than before she walked into the restroom. The rest of the day at work was a blur. When she got home, she quickly showered and changed into a sexy, little black dress and grabbed her coat as she ran out the door to meet Ray for dinner. She jumped into her Mini-Cooper and started the car, but before driving away, she pulled her cell phone from her coat and went through her contacts until she found the one she wanted and dialed. The phone rang several times before being picked up, "Awww, Zivy." A soft voice called out.

Ziva smiled, "It is good to hear your voice, Aunt Nettie...would you prefer if I spoke in Hebrew?"

"No, that is okay." Aunt Nettie said, "You sound upset, what is wrong, yakira? Is it a man? Possibly your father, would you like me to kill him?"

Ziva snorted, almost in tears, "Help me." She whispered.

* * *

><p>Ziva arrived at the restaurant and got out of her car, a parking valet took her keys and gave her a ticket and she walked inside the upscale French restaurant. A woman walked up to her, "Do you have a reservation?"<p>

"I am here to meet someone, uhh, Ray Cruz?"

"Yes, right this way, part of five."

Ziva took a step, but stopped, "Did you say five?"

"Yes, right this way." The woman waited for Ziva to follow her and she did. They walked through the main dining room into a smaller, more private area near the back of the restaurant.

"Ziva." Ray said with a smile, standing up from a table.

His parents also stood up and finally, "Aba?" Ziva uttered, seeing her father stand up, "What are you doing here?"

"Do you think I would miss the engagement of my own daughter?"

Suddenly, Ray Cruz dropped to one knee and held out his hand, he was holding a diamond ring between his thumb and index finger, "Ziva David...will you marry me?"

* * *

><p>AN - And remember, always go back and read Eli with a terrible Israeli accent and oh yeah, Nettie, too, just slightly less terrible. ;)<p> 


	2. Eyes

Ray took Ziva by her left wrist and slid the ring onto her ringfinger, "Ziva?" Ray said, looking up at her, but she didn't respond or even look down at him.

"She's in shock...give her a huge seconds to think, mijo." Ray's mother smiled and wrapped her slender fingers around Ziva's elbow and helped her to her seat.

Ray sat down next to Ziva, he took her hand in his and brought it up to his mouth, kissing it, "Ziva?" He said again, but this time brushed the back of his fingers against her neck.

Ziva turned her head, looking at Ray for an extended period of time, staring into his eyes.

"What?" He smiled and gave her a small peck on her lips, "Do you like it?"

Ziva pulled her hand away from Ray and took a look at the engagement ring for the first time, "It is too big."

Ray and his parents laughed, "You're worth it." He grinned, kissing her again.

"No." Ziva replied. She held out her hand and tipped her hand downward. The ring slipped from her finger and fell, clanking several times on the table top before coming to a complete rest.

"Oooh!" Ray's mother reacted, picking up the ring, "The sizing..." She smiled, placing the ring back in Ziva's palm and closed it, holding her hand over hers, "...is easily fixed."

Ziva flashed a small smile, "I am sure it is." She then swung her head around, "Ray, may I speak you to private."

"Come now, Ziva." Eli said, "We did not come all of this way for you to accept in private, just say yes so we can start drinking champagne." He lifted his hand, trying to get the waiters attention.

Ziva shook her head at the audacity of her father, "Who invited you?"

"I did." Ray spoke up, "I was in Israel on business and I wanted to get to know your father..."

"You were in Israel?" Ziva interrupted, "For what?"

Ray let out a cagey laugh, "Ziva..."

"Yes, yes...I forgot, you can not tell me." Ziva stood up, "Well, that is going to make this much easier."

"What is going to make what easier?" Ray looked up at Ziva.

Ziva turned, looking at Ray's mother and father, "Mr. and Mrs. Cruz, I am sorry you came all this way, but I can not marry your son."

"What?" Ray's eyes widened and he quickly jumped up from his chair, "Why?"

"Too many secrets, Ray. Too many issues."

"What issues?"

Ziva sighed, "We see each other once a month, if that and it seems like we talk less than that now. How is that a relationship?"

"Yeah, that's one of the reasons why I was talking to your father, to see if we could get on the same page, maybe you going back to Mossad and me being stationed in Tel Aviv or you coming to the Agency."

Eli raised his hand to his face and sighed.

Ray looked at Eli, "What?"

"You were suppose to tell her that after you were married." Eli shook his head in disgust, "Not before."

Ziva glared at her father and turned, starting to walk out.

"Ziva, wait, I was just trying to make things work." Ray pleaded.

Ziva stopped and slowly turned around, "Things would not have worked out anyway, Ray." She whispered.

"Why's that?" Ray replied.

Ziva softly kissed Ray on the cheek as she pressed her hand to his chest, "You are just not the one for me." She pulled away, letting the ring slip from her fingers into his chest pocket, "And to think, I would have married you this morning."

"What?" Ray asked, "What changed?"

Ziva just smiled.

* * *

><p>"Note to self: beat the crap out of McGee tomorrow." Tony grunted, slouching back in his black, leather recliner inside his apartment, "You got me to spend 300 bucks on a new phone and I've been playing this game for three hours...oh screw you, bird. Screw you! Did you just laugh at me? Ohhhhh, you're so going down...ugh...ohhh, ohhhh, finger cramp! Finger cramp!" He shook his hand and tossed his new phone onto his couch, "Go be angry over there!"<p>

Tony forced his head back into cushion in his chair and covered his eyes with his palms. He let out a deep sigh as he rubbed his eyes. He lowered his hands from his eyes as a knock came from his front door. He looked at his watch, "About damn time you got here."

Tony groaned as he got out his chair, rubbing at his back. He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket and opened the door, "How much was it again?"

Ziva was standing in the doorway, "Free, if you play your cards right." She said with a smile.

"Uhh, sorry, I thought you were the pizza man, but now that I think about it, I wish I would've ordered some chicken instead."

"Why?"

"To get some payback."

Ziva squinted at his answer.

"Nevermind and if you're here for an apology..."

"No." Ziva said, "I spoke to my Aunt Nettie..."

"I'd like to meet her."

Ziva was surprised by his answer, "You would?"

"Yeah, I'd like to meet someone else in your family that isn't a complete douchebag."

Ziva laughed, "I think she would like you."

Tony moved over to his recliner and sat down, "She wouldn't right now." His head was down, looking at his folded hands in his lap.

Ziva moved over Tony, sitting down in front of him on the coffee table, "Talk to me, something is seriously wrong."

Tony lifted his head, "What do you mean?"

"Tony...I am wearing a dress and you have not mentioned it. You always mention it. Always. You are first to notice things. New clothing, a new haircut. Everything."

Tony lowered back his head, "I've just had a really, really bad week."

Ziva extended her hand outward and slowly tilted up Tony's chin with her fingers until their eyes met, "Talk to me. Please."

Tony let out a small sigh, "EJ being alive, her leaving me for dead and then having to deal with all that and I'm just pissed, so fucking pissed at Gibbs."

"Why?"

"Because he knew about Stratton or whatever the hell is name was and he didn't tell me anything. Not a goddamn thing and he had pictures, Ziva. Pictures!" Tony slowly began rubbing the top of his head, " But hey, I should be used to that, right? He never tells us shit. Not to mention, I almost died. Again."

"That man is dead, Tony."

"That's not the point, Ziva." Tony shook his head, but Ziva cupped his cheeks with her hands.

"I get that, Tony, I do, but why punish yourself for something that is over?"

Tony swallowed hard, "Welcome to the wonderful world of DiNozzo."

"That is an attraction at DiNozzoland, yes?" Ziva joked.

"Heh. Ziva, I'm sorry a..."

"No, no, no, no..." Ziva stopped him, "Let us not do that again...let me tell you a story."

"A story?" Tony questioned.

* * *

><p>Ziva snorted, almost in tears, "Help me." She whispered, talking to her Aunt Nettie on her cell phone in her car.<p>

"Is this about your..." Nettie said.

"No." Ziva answered, "Are...are soulmates real?"

"Aww, Ziva. Look deep into his eyes and you will know."

"Know what?"

"Whether or not you want to have his children."

"You never had any children, Aunt Nettie."

"No, I never found a man good enough to father my children." There was a long pause, "But it was not for the lack of trying."

Ziva laughed, "Just look into his eyes, huh?"

"Yes." Nettie answer, "Have you found your man, Ziva?"

* * *

><p>Ziva was staring into Tony's eyes, "Yes." She smiled.<p>

* * *

><p>AN- Happy New Year!<p> 


	3. The Joy of Sex

A few things, the tiva scene at the end of housekeeping was amazing, my wife literally squeeeeeee for a minute, then tried to find a voodoo shop in the phone book to curse shit for hair for calling and for the promo for next week. I mean, seriously, how is it possible that the idiot has worse hair than before?

Oh and they're bringing back the Mexico storyline? WTF?

I'm SO glad I killed off Stratton or whatever the hell his name is in this story!

Anyway...on with the show...

* * *

><p>Ziva eased her head forward, her lips nearly touching Tony's, but he pulled back slightly, "Wait, did you basically just tell me you wanted to have my children?"<p>

"Yeah." Ziva smiled, "I guess I did."

"That's..." The emotions got the best of Tony, making him choke up. He raised his right hand, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers as his thumb lovingly slipped over her lips, "...the sexist thing anyone has ever said to me."

Ziva smiled, "Are you going to kiss me or not?"

"Heh. Ohhhhhh yeah." Tony grinned.

Ziva let out a small laugh, "Well, I am waiting."

Tony slid his hand into Ziva's hair, running his fingers through it. He gently cradled the back of her head, kissing her softly to start, but soon their kissing intensified. She pushed him back into his recliner and quickly climbed into his lap. She tilted his head back, her hands tugging at his hair, holding him in place. She flashed him a grin and lowered herself, taking his lower lip into her mouth, softly sucking on it.

A knock at the door made Ziva turn her head everso slightly and Tony took full advantage of it, burying his mouth into the side of her neck, "Who is it?" She softly moaned.

"Pizza." A man called out.

Ziva pulled herself away from Tony's grasp, picking up his wallet from the coffee table and sauntered over to the front door, opening his wallet as she went. She dropped the wallet on the ground and opened the door, holding out two twenties.

"It's only 18 bucks."

Ziva handed the man the money and took the pizza, closing the door behind her.

"Awesome!" The man grinned, "Thanks, lady."

Ziva walked back, dropping the pizza on the coffee table, "You can feast on that..." She slowly began to turn, inching up her dress as she moved away from him, "...or me." She offered, dropping her dress in the doorway to Tony's bedroom and walked inside wearing only a pair of black panties.

Tony launched himself out of the recliner, nearly crashing into the coffee table as he hurried into his bedroom. Ziva was standing at the end of the bed, facing away from him. She let a tiny chuckle, "Took you long enough, I almost started without you."

Tony placed his hand on Ziva's shoulder and gently turned her towards him. He brushed her hair from her face, "Sorry, you know how men are and not wanting to stop and ask for directions." He grinned.

Ziva softly laughed, "And I will finally get to hold your nozzle, yes?"

* * *

><p>Ziva's eyelids fluttered as she awoke, her back was pressed against Tony's front. She smirked as she scooted back, rubbing her butt against his crotch. She slowly turned over, so she was facing him, "Tony." She whispered, kissing his chest.<p>

"Hmmm?" Tony uttered.

"What are you doing?"

Tony cracked a smile, "Just layin' in the wet spot."

Ziva softly chuckled, "Better you than me." She crawled up, kissing him on the lips, "Pizza?" She asked.

"Heh. Yeah, well, I've been awake for awhile and..."

"Is this about me snoring again?" Ziva asked with a concerned tone.

"No, I was watching you sleep and it was actually quite beautiful and peaceful..." Tony admitted, "But uhh, now that I've said that outloud, it sounds kinda creepy, so, uhhh, never mind that and I'll shut up now." He laughed nervously as he pushed himself up against the headboard.

"Maybe a little." Ziva let out a laugh and sat up with him, "But your honesty..." She quickly straddled him, giving him a kiss, "...is very sexy. And speaking of sexy..." She raised herself up, placing her hands around his neck and moaned into his mouth as she lowered herself onto him.

Tony moved his hands to Ziva's hips, his fingertips caressing her lower back as she slipped through his grasp, adding yet another sensation to her body.

Ziva leaned forward, holding Tony's head tightly against her chest as she rode him, up and down, up and down, up and down. She began to utter and moan in Hebrew until she let out a loud screech. Her mouth opened wide, but nothing came out, just silence. Finally, she gasped hard and exhaled sharply.

"You okay?" Tony whispered.

"Shhhhhhhhhhhhhh." Ziva squeezed through her lips.

Tony ran his hands up her back and into her hair, pulling her head back. Her eyes her closed and he kiss them, making her smile, "What was the Hebrew you were saying?"

"I spoke Hebrew?" She softly moaned.

"It was either that or you were performing an exorcism."

Ziva laughed, "Do not make me laugh. Please. I do not have the energy."

* * *

><p>Tony started to stir from the land of slumber. The covers in front of him moving. He lifted up blanket and Ziva popped out, kissing up his chest, "What is my ring size?" She question, giving him a kiss on the lips.<p>

"Huh?" Tony uttered.

"My ring size." Ziva asked again, nibbling on his chin, "What is it?"

"Four and a half..." Tony sighed, "...why?"

Ziva gave him another kiss before slipping back under the covers.

Tony smacked his lips together, "So, am I right?"

Suddenly Tony's eyes opened wide and Ziva chuckled evilly, "What do you think?"

* * *

><p>AN- I admit it, this was unadulterated smut of the tiva kind.<p>

AN2 - I know what you're thinking, we got the sex, but where's the fucking violence? It's coming!

AN3 - Speaking of coming, I'm thrilled to announce...my wife is pregnant with our 4th child. Go, me! Her, too, I guess. Heh!


	4. Catalyst

Tony pulled the towel from around his waist and rubbed at his bathroom mirror until he could see his reflection in it, "You okay in there?" He lifted a can of shaving gel, squirting a dab into his hand.

"Let me do that." Ziva said, stepping out of the shower.

Tony looked to his left and just smiled at her. Her wet, naked body was on full display. He gladly stepped back, allowing her to move between him and the sink. She backed up to the edge of the sink and pushed herself, sitting down. She slid her hand across his and quickly brought the gel to a nice, sudsy consistency between her fingers. She raised her hands to his face, lathering it up nicely, "I do not like your shower."

Tony was fixated on her eyes, "Why?"

Ziva's smiled, "Because it is small and there is not a lot room to do...things."

Tony let out a huge grin, "Said the woman who just..."

Ziva let out a hearty chuckle, "I am just saying..."

Tony kissed her, stopping her from talking. His hands slid to the back of knees, caressing them.

"Again?" Ziva moaned into his mouth, "Really?" She utter, starting to kiss him back, "Wait...my legs are..." She stopped, easing her lips away from him. She looked into his eyes and just smiled at the way he was looking at her, "Why not." She nodded, "It is going to be one hell of a day." She softly laughed as he started kissing her again.

* * *

><p>Ziva stepped out of front door of Tony's apartment complex, quietly closing the door behind her.<p>

"Ziva!" Anthony DiNozzo, Senior exclaimed, sporting a HUGE grin.

Ziva stopped in her tracks, "Crap." She whispered to herself before looking towards Senior. She smiled, "Hello, Mr. DiNozzo."

"Call me Tony." Senior insisted, holding his arms out.

Ziva let out a laugh as she walked over, giving Senior a hug, "How are you...Tony?"

Senior grinned, "I think the better question is, how's Junior?"

Ziva coughed, "I really do not know what you mean."

"You have wet hair, your coat is tightly tied around your waist and you're carrying your shoes out of my son's apartment and your have that look of..." Senior once again grinned.

"Yeah, so?" Ziva squinted at Senior.

"Believe me, Ziva, I've seen a lot of women walk the walk of..."

"Dad!" Tony called out.

"Junior!" Senior replied, "Come and help me with my suitcases."

"Your what?" Tony said.

"My suitcases, I'm staying with you for a few days."

"You are?" Tony looked confused.

"Yeah." Senior answered and turned his attention back to Ziva, "So..."

"My, my plumbing is broken." Ziva stated and swung her head around, looking at Tony, "Thank you for letting me shower at your place, Tony."

"She's a terrible liar, Junior." Senior said, now wearing a shit eating grin.

"Dad, stop." Tony said, moving over to Ziva, "You okay?"

Ziva nodded, "I will see you at work." Tony leaned in to kiss her, but she turned her head away and hurried across the street to her car.

"Ziva?" Tony called out and ran after her, "What's wrong?"

Ziva dug into her coat pocket, fumbled around for her keys, "Just awkward. I mean, the fact that I ran into your father after making love to you all night, it is just..." She swallowed hard and let out a soft, nervous laugh.

Tony placed his hands on Ziva's temples, raising her head up. He brushed back her hair, "Weird, huh?"

"Immensely." Ziva answered.

"Hey." Tony smiled, "It could've been worse." He lowered his lips to hers, kissing her, "He could've showed up 20 minutes ago wanting to use the bathroom."

Ziva giggled, "True."

"Let me go see what kind of illegial activities my father has gotten himself into this time and I'll see you at work in 45, okay?"

Ziva nodded and took a hold of Tony's tie, pulling him down. She kissed him and laughed.

"What?"

"We totally forgot to shave you."

Tony and Ziva said their goodbyes and he made his way back to his father, "Okay, why are you really here, Dad?"

Senior just stood there, not saying a word.

"Well?" Tony asked, looking for an answer.

Senior raised his hand to his son's cheek, giving him a couple taps, "About time, Junior. About time."

* * *

><p>The elevator dinged and the doors opened into the squad-room. Tony stepped off and walked over to his desk, seeing McGee at his. He looked across to Ziva's desk, "Is Ziva here yet?"<p>

"Nope." McGee looked at Tony, "How's your new phone? Gotten a handle of it yet?"

"I played Angry Bird for like 3 hours straight last night, Tim." Tony replied.

McGee laughed, "Been there, done that."

"We got a dead Marine!" Gibbs announced. He walked into the bullpen and moved behind his desk, grabbing his handgun from his top drawer.

"Uhh, Boss, Ziva's not here yet." McGee said, standing up from his desk.

"Call her, Tim."

"Yeah, well...I think she had dinner with Ray yesterday and well, you know."

"Not following you, McGee."

"Well, I think he was gonna propose to her."

"I still don't follow you, McGee."

McGee just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what to say or do.

"Just call her."

McGee quickly nodded, "On it, Boss." He picked up his phone and dialed, pressing it to his ear as he made his way to the elevator.

"Tony." Gibbs said, now standing next to Tony's desk, "I should've told you about Stratton, the photo, everything."

"Why didn't you?"

"He thought you had amnesia and when he didn't come after you again, I thought his real targets were Cade and Barrett and that you were in the clear."

"And if EJ didn't come out of hiding, he probably would've left me alone, huh?"

"Probably, but uhh, my bad."

Tony smiled up at Gibbs, "Did you just apologize?"

"Move your ass, DiNozzo."

"Heh. On your six, Boss."

Gibbs and Tony moved over to the elevator, "She's not answering her cell or her home phone, Gibbs." McGee stated.

"She's probably just running a little late, McGee." Tony said, "I'm sure she's fine."

"We'll swing by her place on the way." Gibbs decided.

* * *

><p>A smiling Tony jogged up to Ziva's brownstone townhouse and knocked on the door, the door immediately popped over, "Ziva?" He called out, but there was no answer. He stepped in, flipping the lightswitch and took a step back, the word "Ray" was written in blood on the wall with the words, "Call me if you want her back." written underneath in smaller lettering.<p>

* * *

><p>AN - Awww, morning sickness...you have not been missed.<p> 


	5. Kill or Be Killed

I know this chapter is bad, but come on, it disappeared? lol Jeez. Lets try this again...although, maybe I should re-write it. Hmm...

* * *

><p>McGee lifted up a test strip that contained several blood samples collected from the wall, "The blood's AB negative, Boss."<p>

"What's Ziva's blood type?" Gibbs questioned.

McGee just looked at him, not saying a word.

"That's what I figured." Gibbs looked around, seeing a few droplets of blood on the ground near the front door, "Where the hell is DiNozzo?"

"I think he's looking in her bedroom."

Tony was in the bedroom, but he wasn't looking around. He was quietly sitting on the edge of the bed with his head down, the black dress Ziva had been wearing was laying across his legs. His fingertips gripping at his knees through the silky material.

"DiNozzo." Gibbs called out from the doorway, but Tony didn't respond.

Tony continued to paw at the dress with his fingers. Gibbs once again called out his name, this time, with a little more force behind it, "DiNozzo!"

Tony raised the dress from his lap and pressed it to his face and took a deep breath.

Gibbs laid his hand on Tony's shoulder, "Tony." He whispered, giving it a squeeze.

Tony slightly tilted his head, showing off his red and puffy eyes.

Gibbs cell phone rang and he quickly answered it, "Gibbs...slow down, Abby...he's headed towards Langley..."

Before Gibbs could finish relaying Abby's news Tony was up and out of the room.

* * *

><p>Ray Cruz was idling at a red light. The light turned green and he hit the gas, accelerating through the intersection. Just as he made it to the middle a car crashed into his passenger side, t-boning him. The car slid about 10 feet before coming to a complete stop. Ray lifted his head from the deployed airbag and immediately began moaning as he rubbed at his face and neck.<p>

Glass shot towards him as Tony broke the driver's side window with the butt of his gun and grabbed Ray by his tie, yanking him out of the window.

Ray looked up and was met with a right cross, then another, then another, "WHERE IS SHE!" Tony screamed as he pummelled the CIA agent.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs grabbed Tony, pulling him off. Ray's face was bloody mess.

"Federal agents!" McGee yelled, holding up his badge as several concerned motorist stopped to see if they could help, "Official Naval Criminal Investigative Service business...nothing to see here...move along."

"Control yourself!" Gibbs shouted, pressing his hand to Tony's chest, which was pounding, "We need him alive!"

Tony took a step back, grunting and snarling. He started to turn around, but quickly spun around Gibbs and moved back to Ray, dropping to a knee next to him, grabbing him by the throat, "Where's Ziva, Ray?" He asked, gritting his teeth so hard you could literally hear them crack. He slammed his head back against the car, "WHERE IS SHE!"

"TONY!" GIbbs yelled, but it was no use, Tony was past reasoning with.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" Ray yelled, turning his head away, trying to protect himself.

Tony lifted his phone from his pocket, "I've come callin', Ray." He showed Ray the photo of the bloody writing on the wall and pressed the muzzle of his gun against his forehead, cocking the hammer.

Ray looked at phone and shook his head, "I...I don't have her."

"Then who does?" Gibbs questioned.

"Kort...Kort has her."

"Kort?" Gibbs asked, shaking his head, "Trent Kort?"

Ray nodded his head rapidly.

"Why the fuck would Trent Kort take Ziva?" Tony grunted, "Huh? ANSWER ME!"

"I was ordered to take care of him." Ray admitted.

"As in take him out?" Gibbs said.

"Y-yes...in Israel."

"Israel?" Tony was confused, "You working for Mossad?"

"Just kill me, I'm a dead man anyway!" Ray urged.

Gibbs squatted down next to them, "Where's Kort?"

Ray shook his head in defiance.

"Shoot him, DiNozzo." Gibbs ordered.

"Wait!" Ray spit out a mouthful of blood, then slid his hand into his inside jacket pocket.

"HEY!" Tony yelled, "Two fingers."

Ray pulled out a cell phone very carefully and held it outward, showing a video of a shivering cold Ziva, her mouth gagged, her hands ziptied above her, hanging from a hook, the toes of her boots barely touching the floor. A large knife was plunged into her lower abdomen, "Go, she doesn't have much time, he's waiting..."

"What the hell does he want?" Tony cried out.

"Me." Ray replied, "Sorry...I guess I failed her twice."

Gibbs grabbed the phone and tossed it to McGee, "I don't care what you have to do, find me that bastard."

McGee took out his phone and dialed, "Abby, I'm gonna send you a number, I need it traced."

* * *

><p>Trent Kort took a long drag from a cigarette then looked at his watch just as Gibbs, Tony and McGee came rushing into the motel room, covering him from all sides.<p>

"I should have known, you can't trust anyone these days." Kort looked at the NCIS agents and let out a small chuckle as he took another puff off his cigarette and started to stand up, "I think I'll be going now."

"Sit the fuck down!" Tony yelled, pushing Kort back into his chair.

"If you kill me, you'll never find her." Kort smiled.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you, I have more important things to do." Tony stated. He lifted his left hand up, holding his finger against his earwig, "Got it, Abs."

Kort leaned forward in his chair, "Got what, Duh-no-zo? The knife I plunged into her stomach? Right here." He pressed his fingers to where he stabbed Ziva, "Slid in like a hot knife through butter."

"No, we just downloaded everything from your cell phone. Every location. Every call. Everything." McGee spoke up, "She's at an out-of-business butcher shop, Kincaid's Meat Market, three blocks from here, Boss. Ambulance is already en route."

"Go, Tony." Gibb said.

Tony quickly sprinted out the door and ran as fast as he could towards the abandoned butcher shop.

Kort turned in his chair, looking up at McGee, then at Gibbs, "Gibbs, do me a favor...if I die here... could you kill Ray for me, he really doesn't deserve that money, not to mention, he's a bloody arsehole." Kort quickly stood up, pulling a gun from the back of his pants and is promptly dropped from multiple shots between Gibbs and McGee.

"What the hell did that mean?" McGee wondered, "He doesn't deserve the money?"

Gibbs moved over to Kort's body and fired a bullet into his head, making sure he was dead, "That's for Ziva." He looked at McGee as he holstered his weapon, "What exactly was Ray's job at the CIA?"

"I dunno, Ziva never talked about his work, but uhh, since he helped on the Reynosa case, drug's maybe?" McGee guessed.

"CIA, undercover work, which means he probably has the ability to requisition..."

"Money." Gibbs and McGee said together.

"I'm on it, Boss." McGee said, getting back on his cell phone.

* * *

><p>"Wait!" Tony yelled as he ran up to the ambulance just as they were about to close the doors. He jumped into the back. Ziva was laying motionless, her body ice cold. The knife was deep, imbedded about 3 or 4 inches into her stomach. He placed his hand on her forehead, slowly rubbing it and her eyes popped open, "Ziva." He gasped and she flashed him a smile.<p>

Tony smiled back and leaned down, kissing her on the lips, but as he pulled back her eyes rolled back into her head, "Shit!" One of the paramedic exclaimed, "She's hemorrhaging!"

Tony moved his eyes down and saw blood spreading outward from Ziva's crotch, "What the...do something!" He cried out.

* * *

><p>Ray Cruz carried a large duffel bag towards a private jet.<p>

"Ray!" Gibbs called out, his weapon drawn. McGee was to his left, Ray's head in his sights.

Ray dropped the bag, opening his trench coat, "I gave you the location, Gibbs."

"Where's the money?"

"What money?" Ray laughed, but stopped, his face really, really hurting, "Do you know how much it cost to keep running and running forever?"

"Put your hands up and get on the ground."

"I can't do that..." Ray replied as he spun, lifting his MP5 from his hip.

Gibbs and McGee opened fire, dropping Ray where he stood.

* * *

><p>Ducky came walking through a large set of double doors and into the hospital waiting room where Gibbs, Abby, McGee and Palmer were all standing.<p>

"What's the word, Ducky?" Abby asked.

"She's alive."

A large sigh of relief came from the group.

"However...

"No, no, no...don't you dare say that, Ducky." Abby scolded him.

"I'm sorry, my dear, but the tip of the knife sliced into her uterin wall, which caused massive internal bleeding. Thankfully, they were about to get the bleeding under control after some time..."

"Why do I feel a but coming on, Duck." Gibbs said.

Ducky sighed.

* * *

><p>AN1- I got puked on twice already today. So, my day has to get better, right? lol<p>

AN2- Just noticed something. McGee did some killin' in this chapter. Go McKiller!


	6. New Rule

Gibbs quietly stepped into Ziva's hospital room. She was still unconscious from her surgery, her head was turned towards the windows, the sun was quickly setting. Tony was sitting next to her, his elbows on his knees, holding his face in the palm of his hands.

Gibbs sat down next to Tony, cupping the back of his neck, giving it a squeeze, "You know, you scared me out there."

Tony slid his face from his hands and sat back, looking towards Gibbs, "I went a little crazy, huh?"

Gibbs let out a soft laugh, "Ya think, DiNozzo?"

Tony swung his head towards Ziva and just stared at her, "I'm s..."

"Don't apologize, I probably would have done the same thing."

"Kort?" Tony asked.

"Dead." Gibbs responded, "Ray, too."

"Ray?" Tony spun his head back to Gibbs, but realized something, "Never mind, I don't care."

"So, how long have you two been breaking my rule?" Gibbs questioned.

"Heh." Tony smiled and shook his head, "You probably won't believe this, but, uh...one day, Gibbs. That's it. Just one day."

Gibbs patted Tony's shoulder as he stood up, "And I thought I was bad." He smirked and nodded towards Ziva, "New rule, DiNozzo."

Tony gave Ziva a quick glance, "Boss?"

"Make her happy."

Tony grinned, "Greatest. Rule. Ever."

* * *

><p>A long, black limousine pulled up outside of the hospital. The doors opened and Mossad Officer's Malachi Ben-Gidon and Liat Tuvia stepped out, followed by Director David.<p>

They made their way inside the hospital and over to the elevators, "She's on the third floor, Director." Ben-Gidon told as he pressed the elevator's call button.

"I haven't seen anything quite as beautiful coming out of a limo in some time." A voice spoke up. Liat turned, looking over her shoulder, seeing Anthony DiNozzo, Sr. smiling at her, carrying a duffel bag, "Yes, I'm referring to you."

Liat tilted her head slightly, but didn't respond.

The elevator doors opened, "Liat." Ben-Gidon said, getting Liat's attention. She turned and stepped into the elevator, followed by Eli, then Ben-Gidon.

Senior went to get inside, but was stoppped, "Wait for the next one." Ben-Gidon said, holding out his hand.

"But I'm going to the third floor, too." Senior explained.

"He's an old man." Liat said, "What could he possibly do?"

Ben-Gidon turned his head and Eli annoyingly okayed it, not wanting to waste anymore time.

Senior walked into the elevator, "You'd be amazed at what I can do." He said, flashing a grin towards Liat. She shook her head and smiled briefly, "With a smile as beautiful to match." He added, flirting with her again.

"Officer Tuvia!" Director David raised his voice.

"Hey, there's no need to yell at her, she was just being nice." Senior called out.

The elevator doors opened and they all walked out and made their way towards the nurse's station.

As they travelled past the waiting room, they caught Abby's eye and she got up and followed them, leaving McGee and Palmer alone in the waiting room.

"Mr. DiNozzo?" Abby called out. Senior and the Israeli's both turned, looking at her.

"Abby." Senior smiled and moved over to Abby, giving her a hug.

Abby pulled back, "Are you okay?" She whispered, "Mossad didn't kidnap you, did they?"

* * *

><p>Ducky laid his hand on Ziva' forehead, "Too close, my dear. Far too close."<p>

"Really? Her being in the walk-in freezer is what actually kept her alive?" Tony asked.

Ducky nodded, "Her body was near hypothermia, her heartbeats slowed down drastically, keeping the pumping of her blood to a minimum and thus, she didn't exsanguinate from her wound."

"And the cold stopped her from hemorrhaging?"

"No, most likely, the tip of blade moved when they transported her into the ambulance and as a result, it punctured the lining of her uterus."

"What exactly does that mean, Ducky?" Tony inquired, "Will she..."

"Why are you all in my daughter's room?" Eli asked, stepping through the doorway, his bodyguards right behind him, "You are not family. You are not welcomed here."

Tony stood up, his full attention on Eli.

"Why is it everytime something goes wrong with my daughter, you or Gibbs are frighteningly nearby?" Eli said, looking at Tony.

"What do you want?" Tony asked.

"I want what every father wants, for his child to obey him."

"Really? You're still spewing that bullshit? Look at her!" Tony yelled, pointing towards Ziva, "That's all you care about? Her obeying you? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? She almost died! Don't you understand that? Do you even have a heart?"

"And this would not happened if she was near me, she would be at my side, protected, not in America doing work that beneath her."

"No, if she was counting on you, she would've died in Somalia." Tony fired back.

"How dare you!" Eli shouted.

"Tell me, Eli..." Gibbs said, standing in the doorway, holding a cup of coffee, "Why exactly were Kort and Cruz in Israel at the same time? You didn't happen to plan that, did ya?" He asked, talking a swig of his coffee.

"Great." Eli groaned, "The other one."

"Agent Cruz told us he was sent to kill Kort, but why? Quite frankly, I don't care, but the more important question is: what would make them work together and kidnap your daughter? Now, you're not going to answer that and we all know it, but that question will always hang over you and haunt her."

"Let me put it in terms you'll understand: you're an asshole and she knows it." Tony simplified Gibbs statement, adding a smile at the end.

A visually upset Eli took a step back and roared in Hebrew. His bodyguards hastily exited the room with his trailing closely behind.

"Sadly, I doubt that's the last we've seen of him." Ducky predicted.

"Great, Ducky, you just jinxed this story. He'll be back in like 5-6 chapter...where the hell is McGee when you need a re-write?" Tony quipped.

Ducky let out a chuckle, "I hope it's better than his second book."

"We all do." Ziva grunted.

"Ziva!" Tony exclaimed with a smile.

"Ducky." Gibbs called out, giving him a c'mere gesture and he did, leaving Tony and Ziva alone.

"I thought I lost you again." Tony's lips quivered.

"No...I am still here." Ziva smiled back, rubbing her fingers over his lips. She put pressure on his chin and he leaned down, kissing her softly on the lips, "See?"

* * *

><p>AN - The tooth fairy has visited our house twice in 4 days. At this rate, my kids will be toothless, but rich in 2 months.<p> 


	7. Road to Recovery

Tony sat quietly in interrogation, his crossed hands resting on a folder.

A Navy Lieutenant was sitting across from him, wearing his dress whites, "You've been staring at me for like an hour, aren't you going to say anything?"

Tony squinted hard at the man.

The Lieutenant squinted back, "Why are you doing that?"

Tony slowly started to nod.

The Lieutenant shook his head, "Now you're nodding? Why? Why are you nodding?"

Tony shrugged his shoulders, breaking his hands apart for a mere second, but quickly crossed them again, cocking his head slightly and began nodding again.

"This is ridiculous!" The Lieutenant raised his hand, rubbing at the top of his head, "I didn't do anything!"

McGee turned his head as Gibbs entered the observation room, "Hey, Boss."

Gibbs walked over to the mirror just as Tony put his feet up on the table and pulled his phone out of his jacket pocket and turned it on, "Any progress, McGee?"

"Tony hasn't said a word, Boss. Not one and he's been in there almost an hour."

Gibbs let out a chuckle, shaking his head.

"What?" McGee gave Gibbs a quick glance before looking back into interrogation.

Tony sucked on the tip of his index finger and lifted it into the air.

The Lieutenant looked up at Tony's hand. "What the hell are you doing?" He asked, getting more and more frustrated.

"Hell, even I'm confused now." McGee admitted and turned his attention to Tony's phone, he was playing a game, "Golf?"

The Lieutenant stood up. Tony tapped the top of his folder several times getting the Naval Officer's attention. He then pushed it forward and flipped it open.

The Lieutenant looked down, seeing two photos: the first being of a piece of rope and the second, a pair of hands with ligature marks, with the words, "100 percent match" between the two photos.

The Lieutenant immediately sat down, his fingertips gripping at the photo, his brow completely covered in sweat, "Look, it was an accident, she liked to be tied up during sex and...and...you have to believe me, I didn't mean to do it..." He rambled.

"Son of a bitch!" McGee grunted, "He actually did it."

"You do know he's done this before, right, Tim?" Gibbs asked, walking over to the door and opened it.

"He has?" McGee replied, "To who? I mean, how many people are stupid enough to confess to a guy who doesn't say a single word to them?"

"What does Tony do better than anyone, McGee?"

"Well, he's good at pissing peep..." McGee began, but stopped, realizing why it worked.

Gibbs made his way into the interrogation room, taking over for Tony.

Tony stepped out into the hall. McGee was waiting for him, money in hand, "You've done that before?"

"Heh." Tony grinned, "You have the same exact look on your face Kate did."

Tony grabbed the money, but McGee didn't let go of it, "What was with the finger thing?"

"Huh?"

"You know, where you wet you finger and lifted it into the air? What was that about?"

"You've never played golf before, McGee?" Tony replied, "I was checking the wind." He pulled the money from McGee's grasp and slid past him.

McGee spun around, "But, why? It was a video game...never mind, I forgot who I was talking to."

* * *

><p>"It's been over a week since you've been back from your two and half week vacation." Director Vance said, looking up from his paperwork at Tony, "How's Ziva doing?"<p>

"She's good, she's slowly getting back into the swing of things."

"You think she'll be ready to come back soon?"

"Oh, yeah, she's chomping at the bit to come back."

"Well, I want you to make sure she's ready, the last thing she needs is to come back early."

"Right. Absolutely." Tony cleared his throat, "Is that why you wanted to see me, Director?"

"No, I wanted to discuss you and Agent David's relationship."

"There is no specific rule stating..."

"Stop." Vance interrupted Tony, "I'm not breaking up the team or transferring either of you."

Tony let out a sigh of relief.

"But, I'd like to warn you about your priorities."

"In regards to what, Director?"

"While I understand why and what you did to Agent Cruz, your actions were unacceptable and will not be tolerated in the future, but his actions and death have given you a get out of jail free card. Don't waste it, Agent DiNozzo."

"Thank you, Director."

"You can go."

Tony quickly exited the Director's office and nearly ran into Gibbs as he waited near MTAC.

"He read you the riot act?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah and like you told me, I was out of control. I got lucky."

"Yeah, but any man in love would've done the same thing, even if it was just one day." Gibbs smirked.

"Hey, it's been more than one day now."

"Yeah. Now." Gibbs continued to have fun at Tony's expense.

"Heh. Love you, too, Boss."

* * *

><p>Ziva was bouncing on her toes as she threw a left hook into a large punching bag, then a couple quick right crosses. She grabbed the top of the bag, thrusting her right knee in the bottom of it numerous times before slamming her right forearm into the top in quick succession, with each hit a little harder than the last. She quickly spun around, finishing her flurry with a spinning back fist.<p>

She turned, hearing something. She quickly pulled off her gloves and dropped them where she stood.

"I brought Chinese." Tony called out, "Well, McGee kinda, sorta did."

She hurried out of her make-shift gym and into the living room where she literally leaped across her coffee table and into his arms, knocking him back and down onto the couch with an oomphf.

She giggled, straddling him, "Nice catch." She rewarded him with a passionate kiss for his good deed.

"Hey." He cupped her cheeks, caressing her earlopes with his fingers, "Be careful, okay?"

"You did not complain when I jumped on you yesterday." She grinned.

"That was a little different, Ziva."

She gave him another kiss, "How so?"

"How's your..." He lifted her shirt, his fingers hovered near her belly scar.

"It does not hurt." She smiled and they shared another kiss.

"Good." He smiled, "Now, getting back to your question. As we both know, all my blood leaves my brain when you're naked."

She giggled again, "Yes...indeed it does."

* * *

><p>AN - The cravings have started. She ate an entire box of Nutty Bars in about 30 minutes as we watched Storage Wars.<p>

AN2 - On a side note, she now wants to go out and buy storage lockers and she wants to kick that Dave guy in the balls. Hard. With a Vengeance.


	8. Working On It

Senior scraped along the plate, gathering up the last of his food on his fork and ate it, "Wow, Ziva." He placed the fork on the plate and sat back, rubbing his belly, "Absolutely delicious. Thank you for a wonderful meal."

"You are most welcomed." Ziva smiled, standing up from her seat, picking up Senior's plate, "Would you like some more?"

"Oh, no, I couldn't eat another bite." Senior waved Ziva off with one hand as he continued to rub his belly with the other.

"Are you sure, I could send a bowl back with you?"

Senior laughed, "Well, if you're going to twist my arm, sure, why not."

Ziva nodded with another smile, "One bowl of lamb stew to go, coming right up." She picked up the the remaining dishes from the table and made her way to the kitchen.

"When she gets back, we need to go, Junior." Senior said.

Tony turned towards his father, "Why?" He looked at his watch, "It's only 7:30."

"Yeah, but, she's bringing me a 'to go' bowl already, what does that tell ya?" Senior chuckled and stood up, making his way over to the couch. He picked up his coat and started to put it on.

"Dad..."

"Her first day back is tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Well, there you go, plus it's suppose to snow again tonight, right? Better safe than sorry." He tied the belt of his trench coat, reaching into his pockets for his gloves.

Ziva walked back into the dining room, holding a container, "You are going already?"

"I have a date."

Ziva stopped in her tracks, "You do...with who?" She squinted at Senior, "Is there more than one who?"

Senior let out a laugh, "DiNozzo's don't kiss and tell, Ziva."

Ziva's eyes flew over to Tony, "No, you Twitter it." She rolled her eyes.

Tony scoffed, "I've never tweeted anything about you."

"Life is good and the sex is EVEN better. Thank you, my naughty ninja." Ziva recited from memory.

"Great, Ziva, now my Dad knows your true identity."

Senior laughed, "Come on, Junior."

Tony stood up and moved over to Ziva, giving her peck on the lips and took the container of stew from her, "I'll delete my account when I get home."

"No need, I am your naughty ninja, yes?" She smirked, "Hurry back." She stated, giving him a slap on the ass, "But be careful."

Tony grabbed his leather coat and followed his father out the front door, closing it behind him.

"I do need to tell you something, Junior." Senior spoke up on the stairs leading from Ziva's place.

"I already know, Dad." Tony replied.

Senior stopped and turned around, "Know what?"

"That you lost the house, that's the reason you've been staying with me." Tony moved over to car, pressing the unlock button on his keychain, "Why didn't you ask me, I could've helped you out of bankruptcy."

Senior just stood there, a small dusting of snow already had covered his hair, "Not this time, Anthony."

"That deep, Dad?"

"Deeper." Senior answered and walked over to the passenger side door. He opened it and got inside. Tony let out a deep sigh and got into the car, "But, that isn't what I was talking about, Junior."

Tony placed the container on the dashboard and tilted his head to the right, "Please tell me you're not dying."

"I'm not dying."

Tony raised his hands to his face, rubbing at his brow, he let out another sigh, "Then what is it?"

"The way you look at her, your eyes just light up whenever she's around or even mentioned and that reminds me of your mother."

Tony shook his head, "What?"

"Believe it or not, your mother and I used to be very happy together."

Tony lowered his head, "I know."

"I don't think you really do, I really don't...but, uhhh, she asked me to give you something when you found Her."

Tony turned his head back towards his father, "Her?"

"You know, the one." Senior dipped his hand into his jacket pocket and pulled out a small box, "I gave this to her on Valentine's Day, 1967." He held out his hand, offering the box to Tony.

Tony took the box and started to open it, but stopped, "It's mom's engagement ring, isn't it?" He asked.

"Yes" Senior replied, "And now, it's yours."

Tony brought his hands together, holding the ring box tightly, "Do you think mom would've liked Ziva?"

Senior laughed, "No, she's not Catholic."

"Heh. You're right."

"But, I think she would've grew on her and your mother would've loved her when she gave her a grandchild...speaking of which, can I get one of those before I die, please?"

Tony laughed, "I'm working on it."

"Work faster, you've seen how I eat."

They shared a laugh together and Tony looked at his father and lifted his keys from his lap, "Here, take my car." He said, removing the car keys from his keyring, "I'll ride with Ziva to work tomorrow."

"You sure?" Senior question.

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life, Dad." Tony quickly got out of the car and made his way back into Ziva's brownstone and walked into the kitchen, but she wasn't there. He hurried to her bedroom and saw her standing by the door to ensuite bathroom.

Ziva let her pants drop around her feet. She step out of them before kicking them to the side. She spun around, "That was fast...forget something?"

Tony stepped over to the bed and sat down, he started to dig into his coat pocket, reaching for the ring box. His eyes travelled down to his pocket as he began to slip off the edge of the bed, but when he looked up, she was standing next to him. He let go of the box and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to her stomach.

Ziva placed her hands on Tony's head and smiled, petting his hair.

Tony lifted Ziva's shirt, kissing along the top of her panties until he reach her belly scar. He kissed it lovingly several times before the shirt fell down over his head, making her laugh, "Are you hiding from someone?"

Tony brought his hands back towards him and downward, running them along her hips until he reached the bottom of her shirt. His fingers slipped up under her shirt and found themselves twirling around the tiny side string of her panties. He slowly began to pull, easing them off her hips and down.

"What are you doing?" Ziva whispered.

"The panties are like a candy wrapper, you need to remove them before you can eat what's inside." Tony stated the facts.

Ziva laughed, "I still do not know what nouuuuuuuuuuugaaaaaat is." She gasped sharply.

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva were spooning in bed, asleep. One of their cell phones began to beep.<p>

Tony reached across Ziva, searching for the phone on the nightstand, finally finding it. He fell back and brought the phone above his face and opened his eyes. He quickly opened and closed his eyes several times trying to get them to work.

"Who is it? Gibbs?" Ziva asked, flipping over so she was facing Tony.

Tony pushed the phone away from him, hoping that would help him and it did, "Your Aunt Nettie, she wants to how..."

Ziva grabbed the phone and tossed it off the bed.

"Uhh, okay...do I want to know?"

"She keeps asking if I'm pregnant yet."

"Oh...and what do you tell her?"

"I'm working on it." Ziva replied, burying her face into Tony's chest, attempting to go back to sleep.

Tony just smiled.

* * *

><p>AN - Best. Nougat. Ever.<p>

AN2 - Did Ziva just proposal block herself? I think she did. Although, the consolation prize wasn't too shabby. ;)


	9. Infectious, Love Is

Ziva's hair was pulled back into a ponytail as she held her cell phone to her ear. A steaming cup of tea was sitting on the counter in front of her, "I was asleep, Aunt Nettie. Remember, there is a seven hour time differences between Tel Aviv and DC? ... Right and I am sorry, but I have to go to work. ... Yes, he is here, why?" She turned, looking at Tony as he sat at the kitchen table, "She wishes to speak to you."

Tony stood up, taking the cell phone from Ziva and placing it on his ear, "Hello?" Tony smiled, listening to a long reply by Nettie, "Uh huh...Yeah...I understand...Sure...Of course I would die for her."

Ziva sighed and shook her head, in disbelief that her Aunt Nettie would ask him that.

"Hey, while I have you on the phone, do you have any embarrassing photos of Ziva as a child or teenager?"

Ziva quickly grabbed the phone and laughed, "No, she does not."

Tony smiled at her and crept closer to her, "As you once told me, you answered took quickly...far too quickly."

"Yeah." Ziva looked up into his eyes, trying not to get lost in them, but failed miserable, "So?" She grinned.

Tony tilted his head slightly, kissing Ziva on the lips. He slid his freshly shaven cheek along hers, moving his hungry mouth to her neck, softly kissing and sucking, "Please?" He whispered and went back to feasting on her tender flesh.

Ziva let out a small, but intense moan, "You suck." She giggled under her breath.

"Very well..." His hot breath tickled her neck and along her jaw as he kissed her lips again, "...it seems." He eased back and she squinted, not knowing why he stopped, "Say shalom."

"Ohhh!" Ziva forgot, lifting her cell up to her ear, "Aunt Nettie? I will call you later, yes? Ohevet otach." She smiled and hung her phone up, seeing Tony backing up, "Where are you going? Are you not going to finish what you started?" She took a step towards him with a smile.

"I wish I could, but we need to be at work in 25, check that, 23 minutes and 54 seconds and even with you driving. Well..."

Ziva closed her eyes for a mere second and shook her head rapidily, realizing he was correct, "I will need to change my clothes really quick, though."

"Why?" He asked with a smile, "You look great."

Ziva started towards her bedroom, "Because I will not be sloshing around in these panties all day."

"Heh." Tony expressed, proud of himself.

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva were standing in the elevator. He slipped her backpack off of his shoulder and held it out to her, "Are you sure you're ready for this?"<p>

Ziva looked up at him and quickly flipped the emergency stop on the elevator, "Tony..." She began, turning and taking her backpack from him, "You are my tree."

"Huh?" He was confused, "Why a tree?"

"You are solid and strong and you always give me a place to lean against and you shelter me, protecting me from harm, no matter what." She stated, laying her head against his broad chest.

Tony embraced her, lovingly stroking her back, "Do I want to know what kind of tree I am?"

Ziva slid her face upwards and smiled at him, "A tall, thick and sexy walnut tree with two beautiful nuts."

Tony started to laugh and laugh, turning Ziva's smile into a grin that kept growing and growing.

A loud bang silenced Tony's laugh, "Turn the damn elevator back on now!" Gibbs barked.

Ziva flipped the switch in record time and the elevator doors opened a few seconds later. Gibbs and McGee boarded the elevator and the boss man hit the button for the ground floor.

"My fault, Gibbs." Ziva spoke up, "He and I were just..."

"Rule #20."

Ziva glanced at Tony, she had a blank stare on her face, "The elevator is for work and only work." He told her.

"Oh." Ziva laughed, "He thought we were having sex."

Gibbs raised his hand to his face and rubbed at it, "It's only been a month and he's already infected her."

"Hey!" Tony protested, which made Ziva giggle with delight.

* * *

><p>Ziva passed through the door into Abby's forensic's lab. It was in the midst of being covered in red and black hearts, decorations for Valentine's day.<p>

Abby turned and ran towards her, "ZIVA!" She exclaimed, giving her a huge hug, "I've missed you!"

"I have missed you, too." Ziva smiled as Abby pulled away, flashing a smile of her own.

"So, what's up?" Abby asked, "Need me to do anything? Tests? You know...wink wink, nudge nudge." She grinned.

"No, no, I was just coming down to visit, just saying hello while Tony is out getting lunch...Ducky and Jimmy are my next stop."

"Well, if you ever need me to run anything for you, I'm your man...woman...person? Well, whatever I am, I'm it!"

Ziva smiled, "Thank you, I truly appeciate that, Abby."

Abby couldn't help herself and hugged Ziva again, "It's good to have you back."

"It is good to be back." Ziva said, pulling away from Abby. She pointed towards several of the Valentine's Day decor, "Getting ready for tomorrow, hmm?"

"Yeah, but the better question is, what are you two doing for V-Day?" Abby curiously asked.

Ziva shrugged her shoulders, "We do not have plans, that I know of."

"Really? Not even reservations?" Abby was a bit shocked, "Wait, do they have Valentine's Day in Israel?"

"We have something similar to it; yes. It is called Tu B'Av, but it usually occurs in July."

"Well, expect flowers tomorrow and possibly chocolates and maybe some lingerie."

"Do men like to get flowers and such?"

"In my experience, not the straight ones."

"What do they want then?"

"Sex."

Ziva laughed, "Of course, but what else?"

"More sex?" Abby grinned.

* * *

><p>A bell jingled as Tony opened a glass door and walked inside.<p>

"Can I help you?" A older man with a beard asked.

"Yeah." Tony said, moving over to the display case. He dug into his pocket and pulled out the ring box that his father had given him. He opened it and looked at it for the first time in close to 30 years.

"Wow, a canary yellow diamond." The man expressed surprise, "It looks like it could be four or five carats."

"I dunno." Tony pulled his eyes away from the ring and watched as the man examined the ring from afar, "I'd like it cleaned and re-sized."

"May I take a closer look?" The man asked and Tony handed the ring to him. He placed a jeweler's magnifying visor on his head and lowered it into position and gave the ring a closer inspection, "I'll give you twenty thousands dollars for this."

"Size four and half, please." Tony stated without hesitation.

* * *

><p>AN - Tony had it easy. It took me almost a month to find the perfect ring. Sure, I could've let my wife pick it out. But missing out on her reaction when I gave it to her? No way! Well worth it.<p> 


	10. Chips Happen!

This is how I would imagine a loving tiva relationship. They tease each other all the time, they have amazing sex and they love to laugh and have fun. Anyway...

* * *

><p>Ziva stared at the blinking cursor on her computer screen, her fingertips eager to type, but she was drawing a blank, "Think, Ziva. Think." She urged herself, "What would Tony want?" She closed her eyes and thought hard until a devilish grin appeared on her face, "Other than that." She remarked, opening her eyes.<p>

"What do men want for Valentine's Day?" She typed into the search box and pressed the enter key. She clicked on a link, "Sex." She read, "Yeah, yeah, yeah...me, too, me, too." She clicked back a page and clicked on another link, "Great, more sex...oh, here's one: a blowjob and a turkey sandwich." She laughed, "He would actually LOVE that, but..." She sighed.

"Just you." A voice called out from behind her, "That's all I need, Ziva."

Ziva looked back over her shoulder, seeing Tony holding a large brown bag. She smiled, "Is that my Chinese?"

"Yeah, just ignore my awesomeness, it doesn't hurt...much."

"Awww." Ziva stood up and moved over to the cubicle wall, "You know I love you."

"Now you're just trying to get into my pants."

"No." Ziva laughed, "I'm trying to get into that bag. I'm hungry!" She held out her hands and puckered her lips, trying to entice him with a kiss, "Come on...you know you want to." He kissed her softly on the lips and she smiled, "Good, yes?"

"Hmmph" Tony shrugged his shoulders, "I've had better."

Ziva rolled her eyes, letting out a small chuckle. She took the bag and watched as he moved over to his desk, "Where are you going?" She asked, placing the bag down on her desk, "You are not eating?"

"Yeah, I'll be there in a minute, but I have to do something first." Tony said, picking up a piece of paper and started to write on it.

"What are you writing?" Ziva asked.

"Oh, it's just a shopping list, we need to pick up some turkey and bread on our way home." Tony replied with a grin.

* * *

><p>"Really? The mall, Ziva?" Tony reacted to Ziva pulling into the large parking lot, "I mean, sure they have a Subway in there and technically, a sub is a sandwich."<p>

Ziva laughed, "Stop it." She parked the car and got out, "Come on."

Tony followed her out of the car, "Where are we going?"

"You will see." Ziva grinned, grabbing Tony's hand and pulling him towards the entrance.

They walked inside and turned a corner. Tony's eyes squinted as he saw a "Baby Gap" sign, "Uhhh, Ziva...are you trying to tell me...something?"

"What?" Ziva said, looking back at Tony, "No, over here." She tugged at him to turn around.

Tony turned and grinned, "Awww, Victoria's Secret...or as I'll call it from now on, pre-Baby Gap."

Ziva laughed, "Come on, lets go find you a Valentine's Day gift." She smiled, leading him into the store.

"And don't worry, Ziva, I'll be sure to act totally surprised tomorrow." He smirked.

* * *

><p>"Tony." Ziva whispered, rubbing at his chest.<p>

Tony softly groaned, arching his back everso slightly, "Yeah?" He uttered, still half a sleep.

Ziva shook Tony's chest again and turned on a light. He covered his eyes with his hands, turning away from the light, "I'm up, I'm up." He sat up in bed, trying to focus his eyes, "What's wrong?"

"It's 12:08." Ziva replied, standing next to the bed, "Here."

"Huh?" Tony rotated his head, seeing Ziva holding something, "What is it?"

"It's a turkey sandwich." She smiled, "Happy Valentine's Day!" She joyfully exclaimed.

Tony rubbed at his face, "Wait, wait, wait...it took you eight minutes to make a sandwich?" He quipped, "Or did you blow me and I missed it?"

Ziva chuckled and handed him the sandwich. She tossed back the covers and climbed into bed between his legs, lowering her head into his lap.

"Heh. Well, that answers that." He stated, taking a huge bite of the sandwich, "What, no chips?" He grinned, "Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm kidding! I was kidding!" He cried out in pain.

Ziva giggled evilly.

* * *

><p>AN - "You look like a giant Nutty Bar to me right now, baby." My wife said that to me yesterday and I have to tell ya, it scared me a little.<p> 


	11. Overdoing It

Tony's thrusts came to a sudden stop as he let out a deep, gruntal roar. Ziva pulled at his damp hair, kissing him through their heavied breathing, "You give up?" He gasped.

"Never." She grinned up at him, "I can go again."

He lowered his head slightly and took a deep breath, "Give me a minute."

"Tony..." She pushed up on his chest, so she could look into his eyes, "...this is not a competition, you do not have to..."

"Shit...getting old sucks..." He took another deep breath, "...but, uhh, I have to say..."

She cupped his face, caressing his cheeks with her hands, "Say...what?" She smiled.

"I'm the sex machine, baby." A huge grin washed over his face, "Call the President, your pussy is going to def-con 5."

She laughed, "I doubt if he cares, Tony."

"He should." He kissed her softly on the lips, then another, "It's not every day Israel is invaded by Italy."

She giggled as he kissed her again, on their way to making love again.

* * *

><p>"Ziva?" He raised his left arm from his side, brushing her hair from her face, "You awake?" He whispered.<p>

She was sleeping peacefully on top of him, her lower half straddling him as she rested her head on his chest. She gently began to shiver, her body exposed to the nippy air in the bedroom.

He carefully pulled up the bedding, slowly slipping it past her butt and halfway up her back, but stopped when she eased her head up from his chest. She immediately rubbed her face against it, finding a new, warmer spot.

He slid his hands under the bedding and lovingly ran his fingers up and down her back, which made her smile, even in her sleep.

His head fell back, exhausted, "I won...hahaha." He let out a small moan, "Thanks for taking one for the team penis."

"Did someone say penis?" She smiled, raising her head.

He yanked the pillow from behind his head and tried to smother himself with it.

* * *

><p>Tony jogged out of a convienience store and jumped into Ziva's car, "I got us a breakfast burrito." She turned her head away, not wanting any part of it. "Oh well, more for me then...but, I did get you this." He said, holding out a single red rose to her, "Happy Valentine's Day, Ziva."<p>

"Awwww." She took the rose and smiled, giving him a kiss on the lips, "Thank you."

"And that's not all, I got you this, too." He smiled.

She watched as he handed her a small plastic bag. She opened the bag and pulled out a greeting card, reading it outloud: "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" She rolled her eyes, but let out a small laugh, "So, you got me pregnant last night, hmm?"

"You better be, because after last night, I'm all out of sperm." He retorted.

She smiled and reached over, kissing him as she slipped her hand down the front of his pants, "I think I know a way of getting them going again."

"Heh."

She stared at him with her big, beautiful, brown eyes and flashed him a sexy smile, "What is it?"

"Just admiring your stick work." He grinned, "And just wondering when you're going to realize your car has an automatic transmission."

* * *

><p>Ziva took a bite of Tony's breakfast burrito as they walked off the elevator into the squad room, "You know, for not wanting any of it, you ate most of it."<p>

"Blame the pregnancy." She chuckled throughout her chewing.

Gibbs was staring at them as they made it to the edge of the bullpen, "You're pregnant, Ziva?"

"What?" She stopped in her tracks and swallowed hard. She nervously laughed, "Oh, no...just a...jo...no, I am not pregnant." She stated, "That I know of."

"Then you're trying?" Gibbs asked.

"I would like to have children, yes, but to say we are trying..."

"If it happens, it happens." Tony spoke up, looking at Ziva, "Right?"

"And you're ready for that, Ziva?" Gibbs asked, "It would mean..."

"Yes, I understand the consequences, Gibbs." She nodded with a smile, agreeing with Tony's statement.

"Gibbs, a word." Director Vance called out from the balcony.

Gibbs made his way up the stairs as Tony and Ziva went to their desks. She pulled the rose from her backpack and placed the stem into her pencil/pen holder and smiled at it, only to grimace when she sat down.

"Tony, do you have the case report from yesterday?" McGee asked, looking to left, but Tony wasn't there. He quickly swung his head towards Ziva's desk, "Where's Tony?

Ziva shrugged her shoulders, not knowing.

* * *

><p>Tony was sitting at the table in the break room, his cell phone pressed to his ear, "How much, Dad? ...Holy crap, that much? ...No, no, no, I'm just hoping I have that much in the bank to cover it... Yeah, I paid him an extra 100 to have it ready..."<p>

"Have what ready?" Ziva asked, joining Tony in the break room.

He shot up from the chair and just looked at her, he tried to think of lie to say, but he just couldn't, "An engagement ring." He said with a smile.

She laughed, "Fine, you do not have to tell me, but McGee needs your case report from yesterday."

He nodded to her, "Tell him I'll be there in a minute."

She smiled and turned to leave.

"Ziva..."

She twirled around, "Yes?"

He walked over to her, taking her hands in his.

"What?"

"I have to know, are you in as much pain as I am?"

She let out a huge laugh, "You have no idea!"

* * *

><p>AN1 - My wife is due at the end of June and we're having another boy. She took it pretty well, better than I did, actually, but then she exclaimed, "Well, there's always next time!" I love her, I do, but she's nuts. Pecans, in fact.<p>

AN2 - I apologize if I went overboard with the sex. I just go there when I'm in my happy place. Team tiva will need some ice, me thinks.


	12. Normalcy

The team stood up from their desks as Gibbs hurried down the stairs, "Gear up, Boss?" Tony asked, reaching for his backpack.

"No." Gibbs said, gesturing for Tony to follow him, "Come on."

McGee and Ziva sat back down as Tony followed Gibbs towards the elevator.

Ziva looked at Tony with concern. He just shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what Gibbs wanted and jogged to catch us, "Uhh, Gibbs?"

"We need to talk." Gibbs said, pressing the elevator call button.

"About?"

The elevator doors opened and Gibbs stepped inside, "Not here" He turned to face Tony, "Get in."

* * *

><p>Gibbs and Tony made their way into a 24-hour diner.<p>

"Jethro!" An older black woman behind the counter called out with a smile, "Coffee?"

Gibbs nodded and sat down at the bar as the woman poured him a hot cup of joe.

"And you must be Tony." The woman stated.

Tony sat down on the stool next to Gibbs and squinted looking up at her, trying to remember if he knew her from some place.

She smiled at Tony and laughed, "I don't mean minds, honey, you're gonna have to tell me what you want."

"Uhh, water, I guess...thanks."

The woman nodded and walked away. Seconds later she returned setting a glass of water in front of Tony, "What can I get you two?"

"Two usuals, Elaine." Gibbs called out.

Elaine spun around and called out Gibbs' order to the cook, "Two Jethro's."

"Heh. You have a meal named after you?" Tony was tickled pink, grinning the whole time, "Really?"

Gibbs took a drink of his coffee and let out small sigh as he lowered the cup from his lips. He peeked over at Tony, but didn't respond.

Tony lifted the glass of ice water, downing half of the water in one gulp, "What did I do, Gibbs?" He asked, clanking the glass back down to the countertop, "Ziva and..."

"It's not about Ziva." Gibbs spoke up.

"Then what is it?" Tony asked, "What's so important you can't do this in the elevator like...oh, are you pissed about the elevator? We didn't actually..."

"Ahhh, hell, DiNozzo, I've had sex in that elevator..."

Tony shook his head, trying to get that image out of his head.

Gibbs turned towards Tony, "I only have three or four years left and I don't want to have to drudge my way through it..." He grunted, rubbing at his knee as he turned back to his coffee.

"So, it does have to do with Ziva?"

Gibbs finished off his coffee and raised up his empty cup, getting Elaine's attention. She walked over, re-filling it, "Thanks." He took a swig of the freshly brewed java, "I depend on you, Tony, you know that."

"What, you think I'm gonna have too much on my plate or something?" Tony spun to his left and leaned forward, "I will always have you back, Boss. Always. I mean, who else is going to collect your agent of the year awards, huh?"

Gibbs chuckled, "You deserve a few of those."

"Yeah, well..." Tony eased back, "I keep telling them that, but honestly, I don't think they give a shit."

"Well, I do..." Gibbs whispered, "You going to make Ziva a proper woman?"

"Excuse me?"

"Marriage, DiNozzo."

"Ahhhhhhh." Tony nodded, "Gotcha."

"Well?"

"It's one of things I've been working on..."

"You have an engagement ring? Because I still have Shannon's if you need it."

Tony peered at Gibbs, startled at his offer, "No, no, I have my mother's, but...thanks for the offer."

Gibbs gave a half nod as he took another drink of coffee.

"Speaking of which." Tony spoke up, flashing a smile, "After this, can we make a quick detour before heading back to the office?"

* * *

><p>Ziva parked her car in front of her brownstone, "So, what did Gibbs want?" She asked.<p>

Tony opened the passenger side door, "Reassurance."

"Of?"

"Normalcy."

She opened her door and got out and they made their way to the front door, "What is normal?"

He turned to her with a smile and raised his hands to her her cheeks, caressing them lovingly before kissing her, "Hopefully this." He said, kissing her again.

"Remember." She smiled, "Act surprised when you see the lingerie."

"Heh. I will."

"Good." She kissed him and quickly swung around to unlock the door. She opened the door and pulled him in by his tie, but let go seeing a field of roses across her apartment. Her mouth dropped open, "Tony?" She gasped.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Ziva." He whispered into her ear, "Part two."

"Too many." She uttered, "This must have cost a fortune."

He brushed her hair behind her ear, kissing it, "Do I even have to say it?"

"But..."

"Zivy." A female voice called out, "Listen to the man."

Ziva's head shot around towards the voice, her Aunt Nettie was standing in the doorway to the kitchen with Senior right behind her.

Nettie held out her arms and Ziva rushed into her arms, embracing her, "Ahhh, I have missed you."

Behind them, Tony had dropped to one knee, "Z..." He began, but a knock on the door made him stop, "Oh, for the love of God..." He pushed himself up and walked over to the door and opened it. Eli David charged through with his protection detail, "Sure, come right in, I wasn't doing anything or anything..." He groaned again.

"What are you doing here?" Eli lashed out towards Nettie.

Ziva tried to pull away from Nettie, but her Aunt wouldn't let her, petting the back of her hair, holding her close.

"You have not left Israel for over 10 years, but now you come to America?" Eli questioned.

"I am no longer Mossad, it is none of your concern..." Nettie stared at Eli, like she wanted to kill him, "...Elisha."

"MASPEEK!" Eli yelled out in Hebrew.

"The last time you yelled at me, it did not go well for you, did it?" Nettie countered.

"Are you threatening me?" Eli inquired.

"Jeez, you could fuck up a wet dream, you know that?" Tony shook his head at Eli, "You're such an...ugh..." He slipped past the Mossad trio and ran his hand up and down Ziva's back before heading off to the bedrooms.

Nettie lifted Ziva's head, pressing her lips to her forehead, "Go to him."

Ziva nodded and pulled away from her Aunt and followed Tony into the bedroom.

Nettie stepped over to Eli and Ben-Gidon moved in front of him.

"What, you're going to beat up a woman?" Senior called out and moved to Nettie's side.

Nettie lifted her arm, stopping Senior's advance, "Very sweet of you, but no..." Her eyes were centered on Ben-Gidon chest. She tilted her up until she was looking into his eyes, "...he knows what I can do, yes?" She smiled.

Ben-Gidon sidled off to the side, leaving Eli free to Nettie's approach, but instead, she retreated, making her way towards the bedrooms. Eli quickly pursued her, but stopped cold, his eyes widened as he saw Tony dropping to one knee, his daughter was sitting on the bed, her hands covering her mouth and nose.

"Ziva." Tony smiled as he held up the canary yellow engagement ring, "Will you marry me?"

* * *

><p>AN - I proposed in a tub. Yeah, I'm awesome like that.<p>

AN2 - She said yes and then gave me a concussion. Yeah, I'm awesome like that, too.


	13. Bringing The Sexy

Eli hurried down the front steps of Ziva's brownstone. A black SUV was running and waiting.

"Director?" Ben-Gidon spoke up.

"The airport." Eli answered, "I want to go home."

Ben-Gidon gave Liat a quick nod and she quickly opened the back passenger-side door.

"Aba." Ziva called out.

Eli came to a sudden halt, his left foot firmly inside the vehicle. He pulled his leg out and met his daughter at the bottom of the steps, "What?" He finally said after a few seconds of silence between them.

"Can you be happy for me?"

"Ziva..." Eli groaned.

"I guess not." Ziva turned slightly, climbing up a couple of steps.

"He is the one?" Eli shook his head, "Him?"

Ziva swung her head around, "Yes."

"I do NOT understand!"

"What is there not to understand?" Ziva fired back.

"Did you not lie to them? Did you not accuse HIM of murder?"

"Yes!" Ziva yelled, but her voice changed dramatically, going very soft, "But still he fought for me...after everything."

"And that is love to you? I call it stupidity."

"Then I must be stupid, because I am in love with him."

Eli shot over to her, grasping her face with his hands, "Lies!"

Ziva stared into her father's eyes, tears began to trickle down her cheeks, "I love him." She whispered.

Eli wiped away his daughter's tears, seeing something he hadn't seen in close to twenty five years. She was crying, but she was also smiling, "I have not seen that face since the day Tali was born...you were so happy, you cried tears of joy." He pressed his lips to her forehead and took her hand in his, looking at the engagement ring, "He has good taste."

Ziva laughed, letting out a snort as her father let go of her hand and took a step back, smiling the whole time. He turned and got into the vehicle. She ran over and knocked on the window, "You do not have to go."

Eli rolled down the window. He reached through the opening and took Ziva's hand again, "You, go be happy." He said, "Besides, that woman scares me." He half-hearted laughed and let go of his daughter's hand, "Driver, go." He pressed the button to raise the window as he looked back over his shoulder, "The ring is nice, too." He spoke under his breath.

Ziva watched as the SUV turned, disappearing out of sight around the corner. She then jogged up the stairs. She composed herself before going inside.

"And this one is of Ziva and her mother, she was pregnant with Tali." Nettie said, sitting next to Tony on the couch.

Tony looked at photo on the tablet Nettie was holding. His eyes darted up, finding Ziva, "Wow."

Ziva squinted at Tony, "What?"

"You look like your mom."

"Oh, no...Aunt Nettie..."

"What?" Nettie asked, "And you do look like your mother, except she had boobs."

"Aunt Nettie!" Ziva exclaimed, embarrassed.

"Awww, don't worry, after a few babies, you will get some, too."

Ziva sighed and smacked her palm to her face and just walked away as Nettie continued to show Tony photos.

"Ziva." Tony held out his hand. She walked over to him and he pulled her down onto his lap, "I love your boobies." He grinned.

Ziva and Nettie both laughed.

"Where is your father?" Ziva asked Tony.

Tony shrugged his shoulder and eased Ziva's chin down with fingers, kissing her softly on the lips.

"Hey, I expect you to have a few babies." Nettie said, "But I did not mean right now." She laughed.

"Sorry." Tony uttered, lost in Ziva's eyes, "I can't help myself."

"Stop. You are making me sick." Nettie stated, "And perhaps a little jealous and possibly a tad bit horny."

Tony and Ziva turned their heads slowly away from one another and towards Nettie.

"Haha, I made you stop...look, more photos of Ziva!" Nettie pointed at her iPad.

"I am leaving!" Ziva exclaimed and jumped off Tony's lap and ran towards kitchen.

"Heh." Tony scooted closer to Nettie, "Okay. She left way too quickly, show me the embarrassing stuff."

* * *

><p>Ziva lovingly sighed as she sat in front of Tony in the bathtub, her eyes were closed, her head laying softly on his chest.<p>

Steam rose from the hot water from around their bodies. His hand roamed up and down her front, from her belly to her breasts.

She chuckled, "You do like them, yes?"

"Love."

"Sorry. You love them."

"Yes."

"Is there any part of my body you do not like...uh, love?"

"Your ass."

She sat up, "What is wrong with my ass?" She asked, getting defensive

"Nothing." He remained back, not moving a muscle.

"Even I love my ass."

He laughed and gently caressed the dimples of her lower back with his fingers and leaned forward, "I adore your ass and quite honestly, I've been thinking about building a shrine for it." He wrapped his arms around her waist and fell back, burying his face into the side of her neck, "Have you ever had your ass worshipped before?"

She chuckled, "No...but, why are you giving me such a hard time?"

"Because..."

"Because, what?"

"You never actually gave me an answer."

She peered over her shoulder, when it dawned on her, "Ohhhhh, yes, of course. Yes, yes, yes!"

"Heh. One was enough, but thanks." He grinned and began kissing her shoulder, "I love you."

She quickly spun around to kiss him, but instead headbutted him. Knocking him cold.

She shook her head, trying to clear the cobwebbs from her own head. She laughed, "Ow!" She rubbed at her head, "But that is what you get for even joking about my ass." She smiled down at him, but he didn't respond, "Tony?" She asked, shaking him, but he remained unconscious. She pressed her hand to his chest and felt him breathing, for which she let out a huge sigh of relief.

* * *

><p>Tony raised his hand as he sat on an examination table, he gingerly touched his right temple and gritted his teeth as he quickly pulled his hand away.<p>

"Stings, huh? Well, you're going to be fine, but here's a script for a painkiller." A young female doctor said, holding out a piece of paper to him, "Ice, too."

"I will take that." Ziva said, taking the presciption from the doctor, "Are you sure he is going to be fine?"

"Yeah, it's just a mild concussion."

"Thank you." Ziva smiled.

"Not a problem." The doctor smiled back, "The nurse will be right with you, she'll bring the release papers for you to sign."

Ziva turned to Tony, "I am so sorry."

"For what?"

"For what?" She asked, getting very animated, "What do mean, 'for what?'"

"Ziva...it was accident."

"Yes, but..." She sighed and sat down in a chair, hiding her face in her hands.

"Ziva...what's wrong?"

"Look at us, we are in an emergency room on Valentine's Day."

"So?"

"Why are you so calm...why are you so forgiving?"

"Just my nature." He smiled, "I'm fine."

"I wanted this to be romantic."

"Hey, my turkey sandwich was romantic."

She rolled her eyes, "You know what I mean."

"Yeah, Ziva, you're not very good at the romantic thing, but guess what, a lot of people aren't, but there is one thing you're great at and that's bringing the sexy."

"Bringing the sexy?"

"Yeah, like a week ago, I got home from work and I sat down and started watching SportsCenter and you came over and sat next to me on the couch and you kissed me. Cut to fifteen minutes later when you kissed me again and thanked me for holding your gum."

"Tony..." She let out a strained chuckle, "...that was just..."

"Sexy as hell."

She smiled and stood up from the chair and moved over to him, pressing her hands to his cheeks, carefully caressing them, "Are you sure you are okay?"

He softly kissed her on the lips, "Nothing a couple more of those won't fix."

* * *

><p>AN - Yes, that's how I got my concussion.<p>

AN2 - Am I only one who didn't like Life Before His Eyes? The tiva scene was brutally cut to shit according to Rocky Carroll. Sad.

AN3 - Ziva chews gum? Who knew.

AN4 - You think Ziva prefers tongue sandwich to turkey? :P


	14. Tears

*Fixed some rather bad typos...there will be more to come, I'm sure.

* * *

><p>Gibbs stepped out of the far elevator and made his way over to his desk.<p>

"Morning, Boss." McGee called out, receiving a nod in return as Gibbs took a drink of his coffee.

Gibbs moved behind his desk and saw Ziva sitting at her desk, but Tony wasn't at his, "Ziver." He quickly called out, taking another drink of coffee.

Ziva twirled in her chair towards Gibbs, "Yes, Gibbs?"

"Where's DiNozzo?"

"He sustained a concussion last night." Ziva replied.

"What?" Gibbs squinted hard at Ziva, "How?"

"He told me he loved me..."

Gibbs laughed, "Only DiNozzo..."

Ziva laughed, "No, no...I headbutted him in the bathtub."

McGee stood up from his chair and walked towards Ziva's desk, "You headbutted him in the bathtub?"

"Stop." Gibbs grinned, "I doubt this story could get any better."

Ziva pulled up on her necklace, revealing her Star of David penant. Hanging next to it was her engagement ring.

"And I was wrong." Gibbs happily admitted with a smile.

"Tony proposed?" McGee's eyes lit up, seeing the ring, "You accepted, right?"

"Yes." Ziva said with a smile.

"And you still hit him?" McGee couldn't help but laugh.

"I did not hit him, Tim. It was accident. I was spinning around to get into a better position..."

"You can stop now." Gibbs groaned, "TMZ."

"I think you mean, TMI, Boss." McGee stated, "TMZ is about celebrity gossip."

"Maybe he meant, too much Ziva, Tim." Abby grinned, "And I knew setting up an open mic in the bullpen would come in handy one day," McGee spun around just as she rushed past him, spinning Tim like a top as she moved behind Ziva's desk, "Oh my God!"

"What?" Ziva looked up at Abby.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" Abby squealed with delight, flopping down on Ziva's lap, giving her a huge hug.

"Abby." Ziva strained to get out.

"What?" Abby asked, looking Ziva up and down, then realized she was crushing her, "Oh, sorry." She laughed, "I guess I got a little excited." She smiled down at Ziva, with tears of happiness in her eyes, "Stand up."

"Why?" Ziva asked.

"Just do it!" Abby snorted out a laugh. Ziva stood up from her chair and Abby immediately wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly, "See, not too bad, right?"

"No, I guess not." Ziva smiled, but after a few seconds, realized Abby wasn't letting go, "Uhh, Abby, you can let go now."

"I can't." Abby let it known.

"And why not?"

"Because I have to do this." Abby started hopping up and down, "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" She joyfully exclaimed, taking Ziva along for the ride.

* * *

><p>Tony was laying in bed, watching TV.<p>

"Really?" Ziva said, standing in the doorway to their bedroom, "You are still not out of bed?"

Tony grabbed the remote control and turned off the TV, swinging his head towards her, "I've been laying in bed all day thinking about you and..."

Ziva moved over to the side of the bed, sitting down on the edge, "And playing with yourself, yes?" She grinned.

"Nawwww." Tony smiled, "I wouldn't want you to become jealous of my hands."

Ziva chuckled, "Good...besides, I want to watch you do that."

Tony looked at her oddly, "Really?"

"Yes. I find it very sexy." She smiled.

"Really?"

"Yes. Very."

"Really?"

Ziva laughed, "Stop."

"Heh."

Ziva pressed the back of her fingers to his temple, "How is your head?"

"I'm good." He smiled, "I could've worked today."

Ziva kicked off her boots and crawled under the covers with him, giving him a kiss on the lips before laying her head on his chest.

Tony slowly began to slide his fingers through her hair, "What did you do today?"

"I missed you."

"You know, talk like that will get you laid."

Ziva laughed, "Can we eat first?"

"How's Chinese sound?"

"Delicious."

"Good." Tony threw back the covers and started to get out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

A completely naked Tony walked around the bed and headed for the door, "To get you dinner, of course."

"Like that?"

Tony looked down at himself, "What? Do you think I'm over dressed?"

Ziva laughed at his silliness.

* * *

><p>Tony awoke in a near pitch-dark bedroom. He pulled away from Ziva's grasp and sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing at his eyes. He pushed himself up and zombie walked towards the bathroom, using his hands to locate the door. He stepped through the doorway, closing it behind him. He reached for the light switch and turned it on, but kicked something while doing so. He looked down, seeing the waste basket on it's side. He reached for it, picking up the waste basket and setting it back up, but there was a small box on the bathroom tiles. He squinted, trying to see through the sleep in his eyes, but couldn't quite make it out, so he picked it up. He raised it up to eye level and read it, "First Re..." He stopped and quickly picked up the waste basket again and searched through it, finding the home pregnancy test, there was one line showing. He looked around, "What the hell does that mean? Where's the box?" He spun around, looking for it. He picked it back up and saw that the results were on the tester itself, under where his thumb was, "Idiot." He groaned. He took a deep breath and slipped his thumb away and let out a deep sigh, "Not pregnant."<p>

Tony dumped everything back into the waste basket and ran his hands under the faucet before heading back to bed. He slipped under the covers and cuddled up next to Ziva, slowly rubbing up and down her back with his hand as the other caressed her belly.

Ziva slight turned her head, "You okay?"

"I'm sorry."

"For?"

"I found the test."

"Oh...I should have told you."

"Hey, don't worry about it and you know what they say."

"Say about what?"

"That the best part about having kids is making them."

Ziva turned over and smiled at him, "Practice makes perfect, huh?"

"Yeah...but hold that thought." Tony said, sliding back out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I uhhh...forgot to pee."

Ziva shook her head and lowered her face into a pillow, trying to muffle her laughs, but quickly jumped out of the bed and hurried into the bathroom.

"Hey, what are you doing?" He asked.

Ziva giggled, "Someone has to shake it."

* * *

><p>Several weeks later...<p>

Ziva was sitting on an examination table in a clean, white room.

The door opened and a younger woman in a doctor's coat walked in, "Miss David?"

"Yes."

The doctor was looking at Ziva's chart as she sat down on a stool next to the examination table, "How long has it been since your last period?"

"Not since my surgery, so nearly three months."

The doctor flipped through the chart, "Hmmm, okay...and the test results show you're not pregnant, so..."

"Yeah, so..." Ziva lowered her head.

"Because of the type of surgery you had, I'd like to do a ultrasound." The doctor said.

"Why exactly?"

"It will allow me to look at your uterus, but especially the lining of the uterus for abdormalities."

Ziva sighed.

The doctor placed her hand on Ziva's, "It's nothing, you're going to be fine."

Ziva let out a strained laugh, "I am just starting to hate that word."

"What word?"

"The U word."

The doctor smiled, "Okay, good to know."

* * *

><p>Ziva slowly moved through her front door, quietly closing it behind her.<p>

"Hey." Tony called out, sitting at the dining room table, "I got us pizza for dinner."

Ziva just stood there, her head down, pointing towards the floor.

"Ziva?" Tony called out, seeing that there was something wrong. He got up from his chair, "What is it?"

Ziva's body gently began to shake.

Tony moved over her, lifting her chin with his hand, looking into her tear filled eyes. He cupped her cheeks, "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm broken." She cried out and fell forward, sobbing into Tony's chest.

* * *

><p>AN - My wife said that to me, "I'm broken," after she had her third miscarriage before our first son. It hurt like hell to me, I can't even imagine how it felt to her.<p>

AN2 - Moral of the story is...never give up. Never give up.

AN3 - Now she puts picante sauce on everything. Peanut butter and jelly...and picante sauce? On a sandwich? Yup. And that's her current pregnancy fave and my penis did that!

AN4 - Should I be proud of that? Well, I AM!

AN5 - Speaking of TMI...sorry. :(


	15. Wombing On Up

Tony and Ziva were spooning in bed, her knees her up, pressed to her chest. He held her in his arms, making sure she felt loved and protected, "Why?" She whispered.

"Hmm?" He tightened his embrace.

"Why would He do this to me?"

"Who, Ziva...you mean, God?"

Ziva quickly turned over, her knees held their chests apart. She nodded, her eyes red from crying, her cheeks stained with tears.

"You're not broken, Ziva."

"But..."

"Stop, please." He moved his hand to her face, brushing her hair from it, caressing her cheek lovingly, "I don't care what the doctor said or for God, for that matter. My faith is with you now. I believe in you. Us." He declared with tears in his eyes, "You hear me?"

Ziva let her legs slip down and scooted over to him, pressing her chest to his, sharing a kiss with the man she loved.

* * *

><p>A few months later...<p>

Tony stood in the middle of large living room, "I love it!" He said with a smile, "It's HUGE and only about 20 miles from work."

A very attractive woman smiled back at him, "Do you think you'd like to make an offer?"

"I hate it." Ziva spoke up, walking past them.

"You took the words right out of my mouth, baby." Tony said, shrugging his shoulders towards the real estate agent and followed Ziva.

"Out of curiosity, what did you hate about it?" The real estate agent inquired.

"Everything...how do you say, uhh, Tony, a little help, when something is used a lot?"

"Rode hard and put away wet?"

"Yes. That is this house. Plus, it has a rodent problem. Big giants ones."

"Like Rats?" Tony shuddered, "No more plague for me. Thanks." He quickly ran out of the door.

"Plague?" The real estate agent questioned.

Ziva chuckled, "It is a long story...do you have any homes under construction or soon to be?"

The real estate agent smiled, "I know exactly what you want."

* * *

><p>Ziva was standing next to the kitchen table, holding a glass of wine, looking down at a set of blueprints, "Do we need a hot tub?"<p>

"Yes." Tony called out.

"Why?"

"I'm old, I need a place to soak my aching bones, joints and muscles."

"Tony, you can soak in a tub."

"Plus, we can have sex in it."

Ziva took a sip of her wine, "Okay, we need a hot tub." She turned towards the hallway, "What are you doing? We need to finalize the plans so they can begin construction."

Tony came walking out of the hallway, "Just looking into plans for Jimmy's bachelor party." He grinned.

"I forgot all about that, when is it?"

"Friday and Saturday."

"Two days? Really?"

"Heh."

Ziva shook her head, "I really do not want to know." She laughed.

Tony wrapped his arms around Ziva's waist, laying his chin on her shoulder, "What if I was to tell you, it was possible to christen our new house before it was even built?"

Ziva smiled, "And how would we do that?"

"By making love on the blueprints, of course." He grinned, turning her around and taking the wine glass from her.

"Hey, I was drinking that."

Tony down the rest of the wine and sat the glass on the table. He then picked her up and sat her on the table next to it, "Don't worry, you're about to get a few shots of DiNozzo."

Ziva giggled through their kisses.

* * *

><p>Probationary Agent Ned Dorneget stood in front of Tony's desk and cleared his throat.<p>

Tony looked up, "If it isn't my new favorite probie." He grinned, sitting back.

"Is it too late to get in on the bachelor party? I got the money." Dorneget wondered.

"Do you promise not to dress up and act like Gibbs?"

"Yes."

"I dunno...don't know if I trust you, Dorneget."

"Come on, man!" Dorneget reacted, "All I've been hearing about all week is about how awesome your parties are...shit, I'll pay double."

"Alright, you can come."

"Yes!" Dorneget pumped his fist and turned, running into Gibbs, making him drop his coffee, "Sorry, Special Agent Gibbs, I'll go get you another right now." He picked up the coffee cup and ran off.

"You better charge him triple, DiNozzo."

"Heh." Tony grinned, "Hey, Boss, you coming?"

"Do I look like the bachelor party-type, Tony?"

"We could have it in your basement?"

Gibbs just glared at Tony.

"And that's the giant no."

"Aww, come on, Gibbs, you might have fun." Abby stated, arriving in the bullpen, "Or at least you can get drunk."

Gibbs flashed a smile as he sat down, "Got something for me, Abs?"

"No, uhh, I came up to announce something."

"Something wrong?" GIbbs squinted.

"No, no, no, no...I've been talking to Ducky about Ziva's situation..." Abby looked at Ziva, then Tony, then back to Ziva, "I don't mean to intrude, I really don't, but I've been thinking about this for awhile and like I said, I've been talking to Ducky and, well...where there's a womb, there's a way and uhh, my womb is just sitting here doing nothing, so...I'd like to have your baby."

* * *

><p>AN- "Hey, which button do I press for some tiva action?" My wife playing NCIS, the game. She still hasn't found that button, sadly.<p>

AN2 - Why did JLC bug Gibbs home? The doors open, everyone knows that. Just go inside.

AN3 - While at the store yesterday, my wife saw a carton of blueberry pomegranate chocolate chunk ice cream(WTF?) and now it's her new favorite craving. Good news is, she didn't put picante sauce on it...yet.


	16. Smut, the Other White Meat

Warning, this update contains graphic Tiva smut. If you're okay with Tiva smut, read on. If not, sorry, no Tiva smut for you. Have a good day.

* * *

><p>A smiling Abby was staring directly at Ziva, waiting for an answer. The bullpen had gone quiet, the rustling of agents from behind the cubicle walls arose as their curiosity got the best of them.<p>

"No." Tony spoke up.

Abby quickly spun around, "What do you mean, 'no,' Tony?"

Tony stood up from his desk and made his way over to Abby, "Just no."

"Why?" Abby whispered and Tony pulled her into a hug.

"Pride, mostly."

"Stubborn, is more likely." Abby shared her opinion.

"That, too...that and...well, never mind."

Abby pulled back, "What?"

"Nothing."

"Anthony Dio DiNozzo, Junior, tell me this instant!" Abby demanded.

"Alright, alright...I just don't know how you'd survive 9 months without Caf-Pow, that's all."

Abby took a step back and let out a small laugh, "I totally didn't think about that."

"Heh. Yeah, well..."

"Your middle name is Dio?" McGee questioned, "God?"

"Yeah, what about it, McGee?"

"Nothing, it just explains a lot." McGee smirked, getting laughs from most of the bullpen.

"Hahahahahaha!" Tony grinned and walked over to McGee, patting him on the shoulder, "Paybacks are a bitch, my friend...hey, what's that?" He reached for something on Tim's desk, but McGee slammed his hand down on top of it as Tony grabbed a corner of a thick stack of papers.

Tony quickly wet his finger and slide it into McGee's ear, giving him a wet willy.

McGee lifted his hand from his desk and slapped away Tony's hand, "Really?" He groaned, "Gross!" He feverously wiped at his ear.

"LJ Tibbs Takes a Holiday." Tony read outloud, "By Thom E. Gemcity?"

"You're writing a new book?" Everyone asked at the same time.

* * *

><p>"Is the game over?" Ziva asked, seeing Tony standing in the doorway.<p>

"Yeah, the Buckeyes won." Tony smiled, making his way into the bedroom. Ziva was under the covers reading McGee's manuscript, "How goes Agent Tommy and Officer Lisa?"

"Engaged, trying to get pregnant." Ziva replied.

Tony groaned, "Really?"

Ziva shrugged, "She's still in Mossad, though." She tossed back the covers.

"Well, at least that's different." Tony pulled at his collar, removing his Ohio State hoodie.

"Her dad really hates Tommy."

"Heh." Tony let his pants drop around his feet, he kicked them to the side before heading towards the bathroom, "And we're back to reality."

Ziva let out a laugh.

"What?" Tony asked. He flushed the toilet and turned off the light walking back into the bedroom.

"She gasped as he entered her from behind, their hips working together as one." Ziva began reading.

"Wait, McGee wrote us in a sex scene?"

"There's more." Ziva patted the bed and started reading again, "With each and every thrust she moaned his name a little longer, a little louder, 'Tommy...Tommmy...Tommmmy...TOMMMMMMMY!'"

"Oh good lord." Tony shook his head and slipped into bed.

Again Ziva laughed and continued to read, "She went silent as her body twitched, her skin suddenly covered in goosebumps. She turned, facing her lover, kissing him passionately. They smiled at one another, sharing another kiss, when Tommy did what came natural to him, he joked...'" She looked at Tony, "It is blank."

Tony squinted at Ziva, "It is blank? What does that mean?"

"No." Ziva replied, showing him the line, "It is literally blank."

"Oh..." Tony looked at it, seeing an empty line for additional text, "So, apparently McGee thinks I pop my rocks and immediately start doing stand-up?"

Ziva chuckled.

"What?"

"I just pictured you doing that in my mind, you on stage, naked."

Tony quickly slid out of bed, standing next to it in all his nakedness, "You can tune a piano, but you can't tune a fish."

"What are you doing?" Ziva questioned.

"Naked stand-up, of course." Tony placed his hands on his hips, "Not so funny now, huh?"

Ziva laughed, "Get back in bed."

"Whataya give me?" Tony asked with a grin.

Ziva tossed back the covers and moved to her knees, she was wearing a yellow see-thru camisole with matching panties. She sat back on her heels and smiled, patting the bed next to her.

And in a flash, Tony jumped back into the bed and crawled under the covers. He went to kiss her, but she placed her hand over his mouth and pushed him down into a seated position, "Do you like it?" She smiled, running her hands up and down her torso.

"Heh." Tony nodded, gesturing downward, "What do you thinking?"

Ziva looked down and immediately back up at Tony, "Poking the cave, yes?" She grinned, giving him a kiss.

Tony looked at her oddly, "Huh?"

"You know..." Ziva's grin widened.

"Ohhhhh...you mean, pitching a tent? Yeah, I'm pitching a tent." Tony smiled, figuring her what she was talking about.

"Yes!" She laughed, giving him a kiss, "That is what I meant. Thank you." She whispered, giving him another kiss before sliding her hand under the covers, teasing him.

Ziva's full attention went into pleasing him. Her left hand cradled the back of his neck, holding it firmly. She kissed him deeply as she stroked his hardness.

Ziva turned her mouth away from their kisses, not being able to stop herself from staring at her handiwork. Tony ran his hand up her back, sliding his fingers into the back of her hair, he turned her head back and they shared a couple more kisses before she once again turned her head away, but this time she lowered her head into his lap. His eyes opened wide as he felt her warm, moist lips around his tip.

Tony let out a series of moan as slowly started to rub up and down Ziva's back.

Ziva arched her back everso slightly, swinging her knees towards Tony as she moved to her side. His hand was now on her stomach, just below the navel. His fingers slipped into her panties. She eased her head back and let out a moan of her own, reacting to his touch. She quickly lowered her head back and made a loud slurping sound.

A deep moan escaped from Tony's lips, "Ahhhhhhhhhh." He uttered through a strained laugh, "I love when you do that."

A louder slurp filled the room, followed by a giggle from Ziva's lips. A huge grin washed over Tony's face as he tilted his head back, "Ahhhhhhhhh, fffffffffffffffuck!" He gasped, "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop...you're gonna make me come."

Ziva raised her head and kissed him firmly on the lips, "And what is wrong with that?" She smiled.

"Nothing." Tony smiled back, "I just thought we could come together."

Ziva kissed him again, "And which one of us is suppose to have the vagina?" She chuckled.

"Well, lets find out." Tony grinned and lifted Ziva into his lap. He pushed himself up, laying her softly on her back and slid up between her legs. He cupped her cheek with his palm, caressing the corner of her mouth with his thumb. She sucked his thumb into her mouth, giving it a nibble, "Ahhhhh." He uttered and she let out a evil little giggle before finally letting go. He smiled down at her and lowered his lips to hers, but turned his head, moving his mouth to her neck.

Ziva let out a small gasp as she turned her head away from him, opening more of her neck to him.

Tony quickly moved his lips back to her hers, kissing them before methodically moving his mouth down her body. He pushed up on her camisole, freeing her breasts to be caressed and kissed. His tongue darted down to her navel, he circled it a few times before continuing on. He gathered up the string of her panties on the edge of her hips, twirling it around his fingers.

Ziva raised her butt off the bed and lifted her legs into the air, assisting him as he slid her panties over her hips and past her knees, then ankles. He tossed them aside and scooted back. Her hands were covering her aching heat.

Tony leaned back and looked up at her hands, "What's this? Pussy peek-a-boo?"

Ziva laughed and sat up, raising her hands up to Tony's face, giving him a kiss before guiding him downward. She gasped as he buried his face between her legs, feasting on her hot, dripping wet goodness.

Ziva's grasp tightened as she inched closer and closer to orgasm. One hand was pushing his head away, as the other was holding it in place, "Uhhhh..."She moaned, uttering in Hebrew.

Tony leapt up her body, leaving a trail of wetness in his wake. He sought out one of her hands, their fingers intertwined as he entered her. He thrusted along with her screams until they were in sync with one another, their bodies covered in each other's sweat.

Ziva let out a primal roar as bliss began to cascade through her body. Tony dug deep inside himself, giving her all he had and not thirty seconds later, he exploded, filling her with his essence.

* * *

><p>Ziva stood up from her desk and took a hold of Tony's tie, she slowly started to play with it. She pulled down on it, giving him a kiss, "Have fun, but not too much." She smiled.<p>

"It's a bachelor party, Ziva, how much fun could it be?" Tony joked.

Ziva laughed, "Behave yourself."

Tony smiled, "Yes, dear."

"Tony!" McGee called out standing near the elevator, he was holding the door open. Ned Dornegat was standing next to him, "Lets go."

"I'll be right there, McPerv, but if you're that bored you can always write another love scene between me and Ziva."

McGee groaned, "I told you, I was trying something new."

"Sure, you did...or maybe you just wanted to imagine Ziva naked."

"Or you." Dornegat whispered to himself.

"Tony, be nice." Ziva gave Tony another kiss before letting go of his tie, "Remember, Palmer's wedding is on Sunday."

"It's only Friday, we'll be back tomorrow night."

"Okay." Ziva smiled, "Be safe."

Tony took a step back, "I mean, what could go wrong?" He grinned and took a step back. He hurried over to the elevator and tossed something into the air, "You're gonna need this, McGee."

McGee caught the object and looked at it, "Dramamine? We're going on a boat?"

* * *

><p>AN - Writer's block sucks, especially when it's caused by Idiot!Tony<p>

AN2 - I love my Ziva. She's horny and happy and enjoys Italian sausage.

AN3 - I love my Tony. He's not a fucking idiot.

AN4 - Fuck you, TPTB. Fuck you.


	17. Sprinkles vs Spartacus

Shit, already had to fix some typos...not a good start of the day for me.

* * *

><p>Palmer, McGee and Dornegat were standing on the sidewalk near the front door of Fogo de Chão, a Brazilian-style steakhouse.<p>

"Wow, Dornegat." Palmer said.

"What?" Dornegat replied.

"I think he's referring to how much meat you shoved down your throat." McGee chimed in with a shake of his head.

"Excuse me?" Dornegat scoffed.

"You almost ate as much as Tony and I've never seen anyone even come close to doing that." McGee explained.

"Ohhh." Dornegat simmered down.

"Gentlemen!" Tony called. The others looked up at him as he stood in the doorway of the churrascaria. He scampered down the stairs and went over to Palmer, giving him a pat on the chest, "Loosen your tie."

"Why?" Palmer questioned.

"No questions, just actions."

Palmer looked at McGee and shrugged his shoulders as he began to loosen his tie.

Tony took off Jimmy's glasses and tossed them to McGee, "Hold those." He then pulled Jimmy's tie further apart and raise it up to his head, tightening it around his forehead, "You're ready, Jimmy-san." He grinned.

"Ready for what?"

"To be entertained, of course." Tony grinned widened. He took the glasses back from McGee and placed them back on Palmer's face and immediately grabbed his shoulders, "Heheeeeeee!" He squealed with delight.

"Should I take the dramamine now, Tony?" McGee asked.

"Dramamine?" Palmer inquired, "Are we going on a boat?"

Tony slowly turned his head towards McGee and just shook his head.

"Yeah, I know, I McSuck." McGee sighed.

* * *

><p>Tony, McGee, Palmer and Dornegat walked along a long pier in a large marina until they came to massive yacht.<p>

"That's not a boat." Palmer said, shocked at the size.

"Come on up." Anthony DiNozzo Senior smiled on board.

"Is your dad rich again?" McGee whispered.

"No." Senior laughed, "It's my friend Al's, he's just letting me use it. Now, come on up." He waved and backed away from the edge of the boat.

"His friend Al?" McGee looked at Tony.

"Prince Omar Ibn Alwaan, McGee." Tony answered and guided Palmer towards stairs up to the yacht.

"Oh." McGee uttered and followed Dornegat up the stairs. They reached the top and Senior handed them both a cigar.

"It's Cuban." Senior smiled.

"You do remember we're federal agents, right, sir? And besides, I don't smoke."

"Yeah, yeah, McGee." Tony spoke up, taking McGee's cigar and sliding it into his inside jacket pocket, "You can arrest us after we smoke them."

Senior patted McGee on the shoulder, "I hope you like sprinkles on your ice cream."

"We're having ice cream?" McGee asked.

"Not exactly." Senior grinned, putting his arm around McGee's shoulder and they walked inside.

* * *

><p>"I know it is late and I apologize." Ziva began, walking into her brownstone, holding a brown paper bag in one arm as she was talking on her cell phone, "But I just wanted to make sure the plans for the laundry closet upstairs were correct...yes, Ziva David...well, your e-mail said it would fit two, but...oh, so it is for the stackable pair? Good." She smiled, "That is what we wanted...right, the scaling back will make the walk-in closet in the master suite bigger...perfect...thank you." She hung up her cell and closed the door behind her.<p>

Ziva moved over to the coffee table in the living room and sat the bag down. She took off her jacket and tossed it on the arm of the couch and sat down. She leaned forward, opening the bag and took out a carton of Chinese food and grabbed a pair of chop sticks and turned on the television. She fell back, getting comfortable and dug into her food when her cell phone started to ring. She pulled her phone from her pocket and answered it, "Hey." She smiled, hearing Tony's voice.

"What are you wearing?"

Ziva looked down, she was wearing cargo pants and green shirt, "Uhhh, nothing, I was just thinking about you actually."

"While being naked, huh?"

"Uh huh." She giggled.

"Are you touching yourself?"

Ziva raised the chopstick to her lips, sucking some lo mein noodles into her mouth.

"Ahhhh, what are you sucking?"

"My finger, wishing it was you."

"Just one?"

Ziva laughed, "Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah, but I'd rather be sitting on the couch eating Chinese and watching House Hunter's International with you."

Ziva sat up and looked around, "Are you here?"

"I just know you." Tony simply stated, "And miss you."

Ziva smiled, "Well..."

"Hey, I gotta go, McGee's bugging me."

"Okay, I love you."

* * *

><p>"I love you, too." Tony smiled and lowered his phone.<p>

"You're SO whipped." McGee smirked.

"No." Tony answered, looking out at the ocean, "I'm happy."

McGee just stared at Tony, seeing something different in him, "Good for you."

Tony turned, looking at McGee, "So, what's up?"

"Oh, your dad said they're about to serve the ice cream."

"Heh."

McGee threw his hands up, "What am I not getting about the ice cream?"

"It's Palmer."

"Huh?"

Tony laughed, "That's why I tied the tie around his head, so Miss Sprinkles would know who the bachelor is. Palmer IS the ice cream."

"Miss Sprinkles?" McGee tilted his head, still confused.

"Come on." Tony said. He and McGee made their way into the cabin, coming from the front of the yacht.

McGee immediately stopped at the doorway, "Ohhhh...sprinkles on ice cream...now I get it."

Tony let out a deep laugh.

* * *

><p>Ziva dropped her cell next to her on the couch and went back to eating. A few seconds later, there was a knock at the front door. She leaned forward, setting her food on the table and walked over to the door, looking through the peep hole. She smiled, opening it.<p>

"Ziva, do you have Starz?" Her Aunt Nettie asked.

Ziva squinted at her Aunt, "What? What's Starz?"

Nettie slid past her niece and walked over, picking up the remote control from the coffee table. She started looking through the channels, "Here. See." She pointed at the television, "Spartacus starts in 12 minutes, can I watch it?"

"I guess."

Nettie smiled and sat down on the couch, "Oooh, Chinese." She picked it up and raised it up to her nose, taking a huge whiff.

"Help yourself, I guess." Ziva chuckled and sat down next to her Aunt, "So, you came over just to watch a show?"

"Yes, your television is much bigger."

Ziva smiled at her Aunt Nettie, "So, what is so special about this show?"

Nettie turned and smiled at Ziva, "It has two of my favorite things in it."

"Sex and violence?"

"Yes. Well, violence and lots of penises, but you were very close."

* * *

><p>The next morning...<p>

Ziva and Nettie walked inside a restaurant and looked around, seeing Tony. He was waving them over.

Ziva smiled and they made their way over to a large booth, where Palmer, McGee and Dornegat were all sitting, looking worse for wear, "You guys had a good time, yes?"

"Shoot me." McGee uttered, rubbing at his head.

Ziva chuckled and looked at Tony, his eyes were clear, "You did not drink?"

"Couple beers at dinner, I was designated yachtsman." He smiled and kissed her, "You guys hungry?"

"I could eat." Ziva whispered back.

"Who are you?" Nettie asked, looking down at Dornegat.

"That's Dorney." Tony replied.

"Dorney?" Nettie smiled and slid into the booth next to him, "That is a very unusual name, no?"

"Dornegat. Ned Dornegat." Dornegat told.

"Awww, I see and does Ned Dornegat have a girlfriend?" Nettie asked with a smile.

"He could be your son, Aunt Nettie." Ziva rolled her eyes and sat down next to Tony in the booth.

Ned jumped a little as Aunt Nettie touched his thigh, "I'm gay! I'm totally gay." He lowered his head, "Shit, did I say that outloud?"

"Yeah, you sure did." Tony spoke up.

Dornegat raised his head and looked around the table, "Does that bother you guys, at all?"

"Nope." Everyone answered.

Dornegat then turned his head to the right, looking at Nettie, who was smiling at him, "What? Why are you smiling like that?"

Nettie's smile grew, "I love a challenge." She admitted.

* * *

><p>AN - Will write for sex or bacon, whichever comes first.<p>

AN2 - I think this version was better than the other one I wrote that had Abby, Breena, Ziva and Nettie at a Chippendales with Nettie having handsy hands, but who knows, I could be wrong. lol


	18. I Suck at Writing Weddings

Oh silliness, you got the best of me again...

* * *

><p>"You almost ready?" Tony asked. He was sitting on the corner of the bed, wearing an all black tuxedo.<p>

Ziva stepped into the doorway of the ensuite bathroom, wearing a light blue summer dress, her hair was up, "How do I look?"

Tony just smiled at her.

"What?" Ziva questioned, smiling back at him.

"C'mere."

"No." Ziva laughed, "I do not trust you."

"C'mere." Tony repeated.

Ziva reluctantly made her way over to him and he stood up to meet her. He slipped his fingers into the back of her hair and released it, letting it fall past her shoulders. He tilted his head back and forth, only allowing their lips to graze. He slowly slid his hand down the length of her spine, teasing her until he reached the small of her back, where he pressed and pulled, bringing her closer, "But do you trust yourself?" He whispered, finally kissing her on the lips.

"And you think you are irresistable, yes?" Ziva smiled

"Says the woman who..." Tony smirked, gesturing downward.

Ziva followed his reaction, seeing her entire hand down the front of his pants. Her eyes shot back up, "This does not mean anything, maybe my hand was...cold?"

"Heh. Sure it was." Tony softly kissed her again, "You know, we have about an hour."

"That is not a lot of time." Ziva kissed him back, her hand dug deeper into his pants.

"I'll drive fast."

"That is not the only thing you will need to do fast." Ziva chuckled.

Tony quickly scooped her up, his hands gripping her butt as he turned her around and went to put her on the bed.

"Take off the dress, take off the dress!" Ziva cried out as she was twirled through the air.

* * *

><p>Breena and her father danced to My Girl by The Temptation. The song came to an end and he kissed her on the cheek and handed her off to Jimmy. Truly, Madly, Deeply started to play and they danced their first dance as a married couple.<p>

Tony and Ziva were sitting at a table near the dance floor, "Do you want this?" He questioned.

"Do I want what, Tony?"

"A big wedding."

"I have been thinking about that and..."

The song and dance ended and everyone clapped and Breena and Jimmy urged everyone to come onto the dance floor.

"And what?" Tony asked.

"We will talk about it later." Ziva stood up and extended her hand outward towards Tony.

"Wait, not only do I have to go to a wedding, I have to dance, too?" Tony playfully asked.

Ziva laughed, "Yes."

Tony stood up and placed his hand in hers and she guided him to the middle of the dance floor.

Don't You Wanna Stay started to play.

"A country song?" Tony groaned.

Ziva rolled her eyes, "Come on, it is not going to kill you."

"That's not it, Ziva." Tony explained, "I left my cowboy boots in my other tuxedo."

Ziva laughed and wrapping her arms around Tony's waist, pulling him closer.

Gibbs was sitting quietly, his hands firmly around a bottle of beer that was sitting in front of him on a table. He watched as Tony and Ziva slowly danced in the middle of the dance floor.

"A penny for your thoughts." Abby smiled, sitting down next to Gibbs, setting her glass of champagne down on the table.

Gibbs lifted his beer, taking a large swig. He let out a sigh as he lowered the bottle from his lips.

"Will you look at that, them looking all in love and stuff, it's kind of sickening."

Gibbs turned his head, Abby was grinning. He snapped his head back, knowing she was joking, "Lost opportunities."

"What?" Abby leaned into Gibbs, "You mean?" The changing of the song caught her attention, she looked at the dance floor and smiled as Tony and Ziva continued to sway, "Who are you talking about? Them or you?" She asked, looking back at him.

Gibbs slowly started to rotate the bottle, turning it between his hands, thinking about what Abby said, "Have they set a date?" Gibbs changed the subject.

"I don't think so, I think they're enjoying themselves right now and look at them, they seem so happy, ya know? Why stop a good thing with marriage." Abby quipped.

Gibbs let out a small chuckle and flashed Abby a smile.

Abby smiled back and lifted her glass of champagne, taking a drink. She shook her head looking back at Tony and Ziva, "I bet they have amazing sex."

"Ahhh, jeez, Abs!" Gibbs groaned and started to get up.

Abby grabbed his arm and laughed, "Dance with me?" She smiled big and gave him her best puppy dog eyes, "Please?"

As everyone knows, Gibbs can't say no to Abby and he wasn't started now. He smiled and nodded, giving into her.

Abby shot up from her seat and downed the rest of her champagne before pulling Gibbs out of his chair and escorting him to the dance floor.

* * *

><p>The next morning...<p>

Abby woke up in McGee's apartment wearing only a tiara and McGee had rope burns on his ass.

Abby believes they played Wonder Woman and she used her lasso of truth to tie up McGee. But the truth is, they both don't know and they're okay with that.

And oh yeah, Black Lung was making Tony proud.

* * *

><p>And now back to Tony and Ziva...<p>

* * *

><p>AN - I no longer have the chippendales part with the ladies, I deleted it and believe me, it sucked. lol<p>

AN2 - How do you know when someone loves you? They have sex with you after getting ready for an hour before a wedding, then have to redo their hair in the car on the way there. That's the ultimate love or maybe they were just really horny, that happens, too.


	19. Team Tiva!

Ugh, if there's a typing god, I know for a fact he's giving me the finger right now.

* * *

><p>"Wow, are those cathedral ceilings?" Abby asked, standing next to Ziva in the squad room, looking at the monitor on her desk.<p>

"Yes, that is the master bedroom." Ziva replied, "You should see the walk-in closet, it's HUGE." Her face lit up, just thinking about it.

"That should come in handy for all the coats you have." Abby laughed and pressed a key on Ziva's keyboard, the photo they were looking at popped up on the large screen in the middle of the bullpen, "Your house is still on schedule, right?"

"Yes, they promised it would be done by the 1st of July." Ziva answered.

"So, the 4th of July barbecue, fireworks and housewarming is still planned, huh?"

"Yes." Ziva smiled.

Abby moved over to McGee's desk and picked up the clicker for the plasma and clicked it a few times, stopping on a photo of a pool. She gasped, looking back at Ziva, "I'm SO jealous right now."

"You can come over anytime you want."

Abby laughed, "You're going to regret saying that."

"Where's Tony?" Gibbs said, making his way down the steps.

"Break room, I think." Ziva said, "Why?"

"Go get him." Gibbs tapped the top of cubicle wall next to Tony's desk, "I have a job for you two."

"A job for team Tiva!" Abby exclaimed.

Ziva stood up, squinting at Abby, "Team what?"

"Tiva." Abby said, "Tony plus Ziva equals Tiva, you know, like a shipper name on TV, like Caskett? It's..."

"I do not watch much television, Abby."

"Yeah, that's because you're too busy doing something more...fun." Abby grinned.

Gibbs immediately turned around and started to leave.

Abby laughed, "Stop, Gibbs ...I'm sorry...no more, I promise."

Gibbs spun around just in time to see Ziva darting past him with gritted teeth, wanting to get out of there as quick as possible. He looked at Abby, she was grinning. He just shook his head and slipped past her.

* * *

><p>"I think you've been here long enough to know a secret, Dorney." Tony slowly backed his way up, heading for the vending machines in the break room.<p>

"Secret?" Dorneget said, "In the break room?"

"You think he's ready, Tony?" McGee asked.

"Yeah, he's ready...and what do you if you love something, Dorney? Set it free!" Tony grinned and turned to the vending machine, smacking it in the upper right hand corner, freeing a chocolate bar from it's evil overpriced clutches, "Heh. See?" Tony bent over at the waist and slid his hand into the machine to pick up the candy.

Ziva saw Dorneget from the hallway before stepping into the break room. She stopped next to him and followed his line of vision, he was staring at Tony's ass, "What are you doing?"

"What?" Dorneget jumped back, startled, "Huh?"

Tony turned, looking at Ziva and Dorneget, he was holding up the chocolate bar, "What's going on?"

"Uhhh, nothing's going on." Dorneget quickly answered, "Cool secret, thanks for showing me." He blurted out and tried to leave.

"Hey, uhhh...don't you want your candy, Dorney?" Tony shrugged his shoulder, holding up the chocolate bar to throw it to him, "It's free."

Dorneget raised his hands and Tony tossed him the candy, "Thanks."

"Yeah, sure." Tony nodded and watched Dorneget leave the room, "What was that about?"

"Tim, do you mind, I would like to talk to Tony..."

"Oh, yeah, no problem." McGee picked up his cup of coffee and his Nutter Butter from the break room table and left, letting them talk in private.

"I, uhh, think Dorneget has a crush on you." Ziva made it be known.

"Huh?" Tony tilted his head, "Why do say that?"

Ziva chuckled, "He was staring at your ass."

Tony looked befuddled, but his expression quickly changed, "Heh." Tony grinned.

"Wait, you are happy about this?" Ziva was surprised.

"Yeah, it turns out, you're not the only one with a great ass."

"No." Ziva laughed, "I have an outstanding ass!"

"Heh." Tony leaned his head down, giving her a peck on the lips, "When you're right, you're right." He agreed with her assessment.

* * *

><p>"You two done playing grab ass?" Gibbs rose from his desk, glaring at Tony and Ziva.<p>

"Technically, there was no grabbing..." Tony started, but Ziva raised her hand, covering his mouth.

"Go home and pack."

"Why, Gibbs?" Ziva asked.

"Prisoner transport."

Tony lowered Ziva's hand from his mouth, "But it's Friday, Boss." He stated, but just as quickly put her hand back over his mouth.

Gibbs couldn't help but chuckle at Tony, "You two leave for Pearl Harbor ASAP. Go."

* * *

><p>AN- I love when Tony makes Gibbs laugh.<p>

AN2 - Short, I know, but hey, next time, we get Team Tiva in Hawaii...and you know what that means...uhh, actually, no, any suggestions? I need all the help I can get.

AN3 - Okay, time to make the donuts...


	20. The Bride Wore Cargo

Warning: Smut alert!

* * *

><p>"Really?" Tony questioned, looking into the back of the giant C-130, "The Herc?"<p>

"We are just catching a ride, Tony." Ziva said, walking past him, carrying a small duffel bag.

Tony groaned as he pulled a medium sized suitcase behind him and up the ramp into the massive cargo plane.

A man in uniform pointed towards a section of the plane and Ziva looked back over her shoulder, she smiled, gesturing for Tony to follow her.

Tony rolled the suitcase against the wall and secured it in place with a large hook strap. He sat down next to Ziva with another groan, "What's wrong?" She asked.

Tony shrugged his shoulders, "Nothing."

Ziva sighed, "Tony."

"I hate this plane."

"Why?"

"Because you didn't get back on it."

"Oh." Ziva looked down, trying to think of something to say, but grabbed her duffel bag instead and unzipped it, "Here." Tony turned his head, she was holding a can of Pringles, "Pizza, your favorite, yes?" She smiled.

Tony smiled back, taking the large can, "Thanks."

"I am sorry, Tony."

"For?"

"Israel, not getting back on, the..."

Tony reached over, grabbing Ziva's hand, "Hey..." She looked into his eyes, "You're on the plane now, aren't you?"

Ziva nodded with a smile.

Tony raised his hand to Ziva's cheek, caressing it lovingly, "Then that's all that matters."

Ziva turned her head into his hand, kissing it.

"What else do you have in there?" Tony was curious.

Ziva pulled away and started digging into her duffel bag, "Gatorade, water, some gummi bears, uhhh..."

"Gummi bears?" Tony grinned.

"What about them?"

"Heh. Nothing, I just enjoy kissing girls who eat gummi bears."

Ziva laughed, "Guess what I am eating then?"

Tony smiled.

"Oh!" Ziva exclaimed, "I brought our iPad, too, we can catch up on Archer."

"Ziva, call Kenny Loggins, we're headed for the...danger zone." He eeked in a high pitched voice.

Ziva laughed, shaking her head.

* * *

><p>"We're about to land." The uniform man informed Tony. Ziva was asleep, her head resting in his lap.<p>

"Thanks." Tony acknowledged and slid the back of his fingers along the side of Ziva's face. She awoke, turning her head to look up at him, "Welcome to Pearl Harbor, we're about to land."

Ziva smiled, "I am looking forward to it, I have never been to Hawaii before."

"This will be my third." Tony replied, "The first two kinda sucked."

Ziva sat up and tightened the seat belt around her waist, "Hopefully this one will not."

"Yeah...and hopefully we're only here long enough to get the guy and bring him right back." Tony stated.

A few minutes later, the plane touched down and came to a stop.

The doors began to open and Tony unhooked the suitcase from the wall and followed Ziva towards the back of the plane.

A man in a white dress Navy uniform was waiting off to the side of the plane next to a jeep. Tony and Ziva exited the plane and walked over to the man.

"Agent DiNozzo and David?" The man questioned.

"Yes." Ziva responded, holding the top of her head, keeping her hair from blowing into her face.

"Let me take that, Sir." The man said, taking the handle of the suitcase from Tony. He bent down to pick it up, but struggled.

The man looked at Tony, "Hey, don't look at me, it's her stuff."

The man lifted it with a grunt and placed it into the back seat of a jeep and got into the driver's seat as Tony stepped up and into the back seat and Ziva got into the passenger's seat.

Tony leaned up as the man drove off, "Is he ready for transport?"

"Sir?"

"The prisoner."

"They didn't inform you?"

"They didn't inform us of what?" Tony leaned futher up.

"He won't be able to travel until at least tomorrow morning, Sir."

"What?" Tony said, growing frustrated.

"He just arrived from Afghanistan last night, it's protocol, Sir."

Tony groaned as he fell back into his seat.

Ziva tilted her head towards the driver, "Where are you taking us?"

"My CO set you guys up in a hotel in town, he thought you guys would be more comfortable there."

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva passed through a set of doors and into the grand lobby, a woman greeted them from behind a counter, "Welcome to the Halekulani." She smiled, "Do you have reservations?"<p>

"Yes, DiNozzo." Ziva answered, "We're from the Navy."

"Awwww, yes." The woman smiled, "Everything is ready...you're in the Orchid Suite."

"Orchard Suite?" Tony asked, "What's that?"

The woman waved over a bellhop, "Take them to the Orchid Suite."

"Right away, Ma'am." The bellhop answered with a nod. He went over to Tony and took the suitcase and rolled it away from them.

"Don't we need a key?" Tony asked.

"No." The woman smiled, "Please, follow him and enjoy your stay."

Tony looked at Ziva and she just chuckled, "Just go with it, Tony."

"Go with what? Why are we here? This place is..."

"Where we are staying, Tony." Ziva quickly spoke up, hurrying to catch up with the bellhop, "Now, come on." She insisted.

Tony took a few steps, but stopped, looking back at the woman behind the counter, "Wait, what kind of hotel doesn't give you a key?"

* * *

><p>Ziva was waiting for Tony outside, by a massive, luxurious circular pool.<p>

Tony shook his head, all kinds of confused, but walked over to her, going down a couple steps, seeing the bellhop off in the distance, opening up a set of double doors in a bungalow on the beach, "Ziva, what the hell is going on?"

"I've been setting this up for months."

Tony cocked his head slightly, "Setting what up?"

Ziva grabbed Tony's hand and gave it a soft tug, "I will explain all, but please, come inside."

Tony gave in and she took him inside the bungalow. The bellhop was standing by a large granite topped bar, "Should I open the champagne?"

"No, thank you." Ziva smiled, digging into her front pocket, pulling out a 20 dollar bill, "Is this enough?" She nervously chuckled, not knowing.

The bellhop nodded, "Thank you."

Tony walked past them, his eyes fixated on the view though a set of double doors, "Wow." His legs slammed into something stopping his momentum. He looked down, seeing a king size bed, but his eyes shot back up, staring out at the ocean.

"Beautiful, yes?" Ziva said with a smile.

Tony lowered his head and turned around, slowly sitting down on the bed.

"Tony, we are in paradise and yet you are acting...weird."

"I'm just a little confused, Ziva. We're suppose to transport a prisoner tomorrow and we're in a hotel that's probably a grand a night."

"Twenty-five hundred, actually."

"Come again?"

"I plan to." Ziva chuckled, "A lot, actually."

Tony didn't respond.

"Tony, can you not see what is going on?" Ziva asked, but quickly reacted by moving to her suitcase and opening it, pulling out a small ring box, "Our wedding bands...you and I...tomorrow, on the beach...I..."

Tony stood up from the bed and stepped over to her, giving her a kiss on the lips, "Is there even a prisoner?"

Ziva shook her head no.

"Heh. I can't believe you got Gibbs to help you."

"Everyone was in on it, even Vance."

"And we couldn't take his plane?"

Ziva laughed, "I was trying to keep it a surprise."

Tony cupped Ziva's cheeks, "You did it, you totally had me fooled." He kissed her again and slid past her, moving out of the bedroom.

"You still seem a little..." Ziva tried to find the right words.

"I had plans for us tomorrow." Tony said.

"You did?" Ziva closed the distance between them, "What?"

"I was going to introduce you to my mom, it's her birthday tomorrow and well...never mind, it's silly anyway."

"No, no, no." Ziva pressed her hand to Tony's back, "I would love to meet her...I mean..."

Tony slowly turned around, "I know what you mean."

Ziva wrapped her arms around Tony's waist and fell into his chest, "And maybe one day, I will introduce you to my mom and Tali."

"I'd like that...although, the thought of going to Israel again, kind of scares the crap out of me."

Ziva laughed and looked up at him and they shared a kiss, "How about some champagne?"

"Sure." Tony smiled, giving her another kiss, "I'll get it." He pulled away and moved around the bar and looked in the fridge, inside was a large bucket of ice with a bottle of champagne inside, he grinned, "Dom Perignon? Nice." He pulled the bucket from the fridge and turned around and Ziva was standing in front of him. She took the bucket from him, setting it down on the bar and took a hold of both of his hands and pushed him back against the bar, "What's up?"

Ziva quickly dropped down in front of Tony, letting go of his hands.

"Uhhh, Ziva, I thought you wanted..." The sound of Tony's zipper made him let out a small laugh, "Ahhh, I guess not."

Ziva's head slowly started to move up and down.

Exactly 6 minutes and 38 seconds later...

"Zi-Zi-Zi..." Tony uttered, "I...I...I'm gonna c..."

Ziva slipped up Tony's body, giving him a kiss, "Then shut up and come." She moaned into his mouth before dropping back down.

Tony held on for a long as he could, "Ahhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhh." He moaned, letting himself go, but that didn't stop Ziva. She continued to pleasure him, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." He cried out, which only made her up the ante. She started to make deep, loud slurping sounds that drove him crazy.

Tony reached down, burying his fingers into the top of her hair, trying to pull her up. She resisted, fighting him off, only to rise seconds later, flashing him a grin as she playfully slapped at his manhood. He grinned back and stepped forward, moving both hands into the back of her hair, giving her deep, passionate kisses.

Ziva's arms fell limp to her side. She sighed lovingly, cherishing every single kiss, touch, smell, but her hunger for more of him awoke her sexual appetite. She pushed him back, holding her hand against his chest as her other hand unzipped her pants. She tried pushing them down with one hand, but it wasn't working well, so she started to jump up and down.

Tony lifted her up and spun her around, pressing her butt against the bar's countertop. He shuffled back, agressively taking off her boots and pants. He dove back between her legs and yanked at her panties, ripping them off. She braced herself, grasping the edge of the bar as he plunged deep inside her. She gasped into his mouth as he thrusted with everything he had. Her hands gave way as he quickened his pace, nearing yet another orgasm, "Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken! Ken!" She moaned at the top of her lungs and then, complete silent as her head fell back and rolled slightly to the right.

"Ziva?" Tony asked through heavied breathing, "Baby?" He lifted her up and held her head in his hands, her eyes were closed, her hair, soaked with sweat, "Are you okay?"

Ziva could hear him, but she couldn't talk or open her eyes, so she did the only thing she could. She smiled.

Tony blew out, trying to catch his breath, "Good, good." He gave her a peck on the lips and took a deep breath, "What are you in, a come coma?"

Ziva's entire body shook.

"Was that a laugh?" Tony smiled.

Ziva smiled yet again.

* * *

><p>Ziva laughed, laying in bed next to Tony, "I could not get my pants off. I was literally jumping up and down." She laughed again, "I mean, how bad is that?"<p>

"Hey, it's okay, I'm the exact opposite, I have a hard time keeping mine on, especially when you're around."

Ziva smiled and turned over, slipping one hand behind his head, kissing him as the other hand dipped under the covers.

"Uh, oh, I'm poking a cave again." Tony quipped with a grin.

Ziva laughed and slid on top of Tony, "Just how I like you." She smiled, staring down into his eyes.

"Hey, the girls are finally out to play, huh?" Tony grinned, looking at her bare breasts.

Ziva slid up his body and lowered her breasts onto his face and shook them, giggling the whole time.

* * *

><p>A close-up picture of Tony popped up on the screen in MTAC, "Can you see me?"<p>

"We can see your nose hairs, DiNozzo!" Gibbs called out.

"Heh." Tony pushed the iPad away from him and handed it to the bellhop, who backed up and focused on Ziva, who was standing next to Tony and the man who would be performing the ceremony.

"Dearly beloved we are gathered here today..." The man began.

"Ziva's wearing cargo pants and a t-shirt to her wedding?" McGee asked.

"Tony's wearing his Magnum PI shirt." Abby countered, "Plus, they aren't wearing shoes."

McGee nodded, agreeing with Abby.

Abby smiled, watching them exchange their wedding bands, "They're a match made in heaven."

"I, Ziva Eva David...take this man..."

"So that's what Ziva's middle name is!" Abby exclaimed.

"Abby!" Gibbs scolded her, "If I have to be here, at least let me hear it."

"Sorry, Gibbs."

"...to laugh with you and watch movies with you, even if I do not want to, but most importantly, make you happy." Ziva smiled, holding a small tropical bouquet of flowers.

"I, Anthony Dio DiNozzo, Jr..." Tony began, "...take you as my everything, because that's what you are to me. Everything. And I promise to be your everything, too."

"Awww, they're both crying." Abby said and immediately began crying, too.

"Now, If anyone objects to this union, let them speak now or forever hold your peace." The man performing the ceremony said.

Tony and Ziva both turned and looked at the iPad.

"I think they're looking at you, Gibbs." Abby laughed.

"I think rule #12 has been pretty much destroyed, don't you?" Gibbs smirked.

"Heh." Tony moved over to the iPad and kissed the camera lens, "Love ya, Boss." He ran back and stood next to Ziva.

"I now pronounce you, man and wife, " The man smiled, "You may kiss the bride."

Tony stepped towards Ziva, but she dropped her boutique and lept into his arms, kissing him.

Abby laughed, "Now you two go make a damn baby!"

* * *

><p>AN1- Aww, TivaSmut, how I love thee.<p>

AN2- I'm hopped up on chocolate fudge Poptarts and orange Powerade, you know, the breakfast of champions.

AN3- An Hawaiian update and no mention of spam? Blasphemy!

AN4- Tune in next time to see where Tony and Ziva consummate their marriage! And who knows, they might go on the Newlywed game! I SO want Ziva to answer the, "where's the weirdest place you've ever had whoopie at?" question and she replies, "In the butt, yes?"


	21. One Down

"Come on, Ziva, the water's perfect." Tony urged, swimming towards the splashdown area of a raging waterfall.

"Tony..." Ziva was a little concerned, but against her better judgement kicked off her sandals and removed her cargo pants and shirt, revealing a gold bikini. She dropped her clothes next to Tony's Magnum PI Hawaiian shirt and took a step into the water.

A sloshing sound made Ziva turned her head, seeing Tony's swimming trunks smack into a large rock next to her. Her eyes swung back towards the water, "I'm ready!" He called out with a grin.

Ziva couldn't help but smile at her husband, "If we get caught, I will punch you in the dick!" She called out with a laugh.

"What?" Tony asked, unable to hear her from the splashing of water from the falls.

Ziva laughed again and took a few more steps into the water before diving into it. She popped up right in front of him. She grasped his neck, giving him a huge kiss, pushing them under the wall of water.

Tony ducked his head under the water, resurfacing moments later holding Ziva's bikini bottoms. She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and hopped up, bucking down hard with her hips. She gasped into his mouth and they began to kiss feverishly. The cool water rushed over their bodies as they made wild, passionate love.

* * *

><p>Tony was standing behind Ziva in a marbled tiled steam shower, his fingers sliding through her hair, lathering it up with shampoo.<p>

Ziva extended her arms, pressing her hands against the wall.

"You okay? There's a bench behind me, want to sit?" Tony asked.

Ziva turned and smiled sweetly at him.

"What?"

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Uhhh, you married me?"

Ziva laughed, "Yes, of course, there is that, but..."

Tony gave her several quick kisses in succession on the lips, "But?"

"You wash my hair." Ziva's smile grew.

"Yeah...so? I do it all the time."

"Yes, but, no man has washed my hair before...well, at least not straight ones, that I know of."

"And who says I'm straight?"

"Your growing penis does, yes?" She giggled.

"Heh." Tony flashed a grin back, "Well, he loves you."

"I see that..." Ziva laughed and began to squat down, "...and I love him."

Tony lowered her arms and grabbed Ziva by her upper arms and lifted her back up, "What are you doing?"

"What did it look like?" Ziva smiled.

"I thought we were going to go eat?"

"We are." Ziva grinned, "Afterwards."

"But, I'm really hungry."

Ziva scoffed, "Are you really turning down a..."

Tony shook his head and placed his hand on top of Ziva's head and applied pressure and she slowly knelt back down, "Seriously, stomach, what were you thinking?"

Ziva laughed, "It is Italian, it cannot help it."

* * *

><p>"My god." Tony labored.<p>

"What?" Ziva replied, lifting her head from his shoulder. She was straddling him as he sat against the headboard of their California King bed, both covered in sweat.

"Your pussy...it's like a vacuum."

Ziva laughed, laying her head back down on his shoulder, "I will take that as a compliment, I think."

"It is...it is." Tony took a deep breath, giving Ziva's butt a playful smack on both cheeks, "We had one helluva first day, Mrs. DiNozzo."

"Sex under a waterfall." Ziva smiled, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder.

"My stomach nearly cockblocking me."

Ziva laughed, "You came to your senses and I gave you..."

"An amazing blowjob." Tony leaned his back against the wall and softly smiled.

"And you had to wash my hair again." Ziva chuckled.

"Hey, you were aiming it!"

Ziva let out a huge laugh and fell back, landing on her back between his legs. He placed his hands on her stomach and gently caressed it.

Ziva cover his hands and held them there, "I will not fail you, Tony."

"Fail me?"

"I will give you a baby."

Tony moved to his knees and slipped inbetween her legs, giving her a kiss as he turned them to their sides, "If it happens, it happens." He stated, rubbing the back of his fingers against her cheek.

"And if does not happen?" Ziva whispered.

"Then we adopt Abby." Tony smiled.

Ziva buried her face into Tony's chest, laughing.

* * *

><p>AN- Waterfalls are awesome. And cold.<p>

AN2- I wash my wife's hair all the time. She considers it foreplay. Apparently, Ziva does, too.

AN3- My Ziva laughs a lot. I like her like that. Happy and satisfied.


	22. Back To Work

I SERIOUSLY HATE this site sometimes. Ugh. What a pain in the ass. Oh well...the story must go on...

* * *

><p>A cell phone buzzed and skidded along a tiled floor, inching it's way towards a large, bubbling outdoor hot tub. Ziva dropped her hand onto it and lifted it and her sunglasses, giving the small screen a glance. She moved her sunglasses back into place and smiled, lowering her head back onto a rolled-up towel and sighed sweetly, letting her arm come down along the rim. She was about to let go of her phone when it began to ring.<p>

Ziva groaned, slowly bringing the phone back in front of her face. She read the screen and waited for it to go to voicemail. It did, but it immediately began to ring again. She answered it, not saying a word.

"Where's DiNozzo?" Director Vance's voice called out from the phone.

"Which one?" Ziva softly answered with a smile.

Vance cleared his throat, "Where's Tony?" He questioned.

"He went snorkeling." Ziva replied, still smiling.

"You're coming home today, correct?"

"Mmm-hmmm." Ziva's smile grew.

"Find him fast, I need him on the Reagan, ASAP, they're 50 miles outside of Pearl Harbor, they're expecting you." The line went dead.

Ziva turned off her phone and reached out, grabbing the top of a snorkel and pulled up on it until Tony's head popped out of the water.

"What?" Tony asked, spitting the snorkel out of his mouth.

Ziva leaned forward, taking off his mask, giving her husband a kiss, "Time to go, work calls."

"Okay, give me a sec, I'll finish up here and be right with you." Tony said, submerging himself back under the water.

Ziva started to laugh, "Tony, we do not have t..." She gasped, sinking fast into the water until the only thing above it was her hand, holding up her cell phone.

* * *

><p>Ziva held her hands over her ears as she walked off the deck of the USS Reagan, the loud roar of a jet blasting off shook the entire room.<p>

"Welcome to the Reagan." A man called out, "I'm Captain Johnstone."

"Captain?" Tony asked, surprised he was met by the Captain of the boat.

"Your Agent Afloat is missing."

"Missing?"

"We've checked every damn inch of this ship three times, Agent..."

"DiNozzo." Tony replied.

"Find him. Understand?"

Tony nodded and the Captain turned and walked away.

"What was that about?" Ziva asked.

"The ship's going to sit here until he's found, which means, there's going to be some seriously pissed off seamen on board who were looking forward to some desperately needed R and R if we don't find some answers."

Ziva nodded and followed Tony down a set of stairs, "Vance said he needed you on the ship, not us, but you." She stated, "What does that mean?"

"I was an Agent Afloat."

"Yeah, so?"

"On the Reagan, Ziva."

"Tony..."

"We're told, if we feel our lives are in danger or we have information on board, to hide it, even from the Captain of the ship."

"And you know where this is hidden?"

"Yup." Tony replied and hurried through a set of corridors and stairwells until he reached the Agent Afloat's quarters. He walked over to the corner and unscrewed a pipe that was labelled 'Warning: Human Waste' and pulled something out of it.

"Really?" Ziva shook her head, "That is the hiding place?"

"Would you want to chance opening a pipe that said, 'Human waste,' Ziva?"

"No, but...still."

Tony held up a USB drive between his index and middle finger of his right hand.

Ziva took the device from Tony and sat down and turned on the Agent Afloat's computer and plug the USB drive into the computer and clicked on it, "Chief Petty Officer Gomez..." She began reading outloud, "Wow...there is your motive, yes?"

"Where is Chief Petty Officer Gomez right now?" Tony inquired.

"Uhhh." Ziva began to click away at the keyboard, "He is...found him, in the sick bay."

A man laughed, "Yeah, I've always been injury proned, I was either bleeding a lot as a kid or had a broken bone."

"You do know, that's not a good thing, right, Gomez?" A Corpsman shook his head as he patched up the Chief Petty Officer's hand.

"How'd you get the cut?" Tony asked, standing in the doorway to the sick bay.

"Excuse me?" Gomez asked, turning his head to look at Tony.

"How did you cut your hand." Ziva asked, standing in the other doorway leaving the sick bay.

"Can I help you?" The Corpsman asked.

"NCIS." Tony lifted his badge up, showing it.

Gomez immediately made a run for it, running towards Ziva. He went to punch her, but she blocked it and kicked him in the groin, dropping him to his knees. She then grabbed a bedpan from a table and smashed it over his head, knocking him cold.

"Heh." Tony grinned, walking towards his wife and an unconscious Gomez.

"What?" Ziva asked.

Tony's grin widened, "I almost forgot."

"Almost forgot what?" Ziva asked with a smile.

"That my wife is freakin' badass."

Ziva laughed, "That turns you on, yes?"

The Corpsman looked at Tony and Ziva oddly as they shared a kiss, "Uhhh..."

Tony turned, looking towards him, "Sorry, we're married, just recently, actually."

"Congratulations?" The Corpsman offered.

"Thanks!" Ziva laughed.

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva stood in front of Vance's desk.<p>

"While it is sad that we lost another agent, you were able to catch his killer...all of this because he was going to take away his shore leave?" Vance shook his head in digust as he sat down at his desk.

"People have killed for lesser things, Director." Tony stated.

Vance pawed at his head and nodded, "Nice job, you two."

"Thank you, Director." Tony nodded back and he and Ziva started to leave, but he stopped, "And thanks for sending your personal jet to bring us home."

"It was at least I could do...and, uh..."

"Yes?" Tony replied.

"Congratulations."

"Thank you, Director." Ziva smiled and they left the director's office, closing the door behind them and walked out onto the balcony overlooking the squadroom, "For a minute there, I thought he was ask us if we had sex on his plane." She laughed.

"Heh." Tony grinned down at Ziva, "Would we do that?"

* * *

><p>AN - She may laugh and giggle more now, but Ziva will always be a badass!<p>

AN2 - Ziva in the sick bay with a bedpan...Clue, the Ziva-way!

AN3 - Leave it to DiNozzo to make snorkeling smutty.

AN4 - Tony in the hot tub with hsi tongue...Cunnilingus, the Tony-way! (Sorry, I just wanted to type Cunnilingus)


	23. The Missionary Position Sucked

Sorry, it's not the longest chapter in the world, but it's smutty and silly, so maybe it'll make up for the craptastic episode that was on yesterday. If not, my bad.

* * *

><p>"I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE stakeouts, Tony." Ziva groaned, sitting on the end of a bed, "All for a guy who...what did he do again?"<p>

"Yeah, I kinda figured that after the third hate." Tony replied, sitting next to a window looking at a monitor, "Don't worry, we'll be out of here in a few days."

"Or, I could walk over there, knock on the door and shoot him."

"Less paper work, sure, but you'd be in jail." Tony said, but started to smile.

"Are you smiling?" Ziva squinted, "Why?"

"Heh. Just thinking about the conjugal visits."

Ziva laughed and bounced off the bed and made her over to him, quickly straddling him.

"Can I help you?" Tony looked up at his beautiful wife with a smile.

Ziva smiled back and titled her head slightly before easing her head forward, giving him a kiss, "I would like more of those, please."

"Since you said please and all." His smile grew and they began kissing, but a sound in the background from a directional mic made them stop.

Tony stood up, lifting her as he did, but promptly sat her down and moved to the window, "I think that's him...yeah, that's definitely him and shit! He's leaving." He opened the window and stuck his head out, "Hey, you!" He yelled.

The man looked up at Tony.

"Have you seen my cat? Her name is Cody Kitty, she's white and fluffy and cute."

"What the fuck you talking about?" The man yelled out.

"Hey! Watch your fucking mouth!" Tony yelled back, "She has sensitive ears."

The man flipped Tony the finger and Ziva grabbed his finger, pulling him downward to meet her knee as she fired it upward, knocking him cold. She turned, looking up at Tony in the window, grinning.

Tony shook his head with a smile, "Yeah, yeah, I'll be right down." He pulled his head back into the room, closing the window.

* * *

><p>Tony was watching TV, relaxing in his black recliner.<p>

"Tony, I just off the phone with the realtor, someone made an offer on this place." Ziva said, walking into the living room.

"Oh...how much?"

"485...should we take it?"

"It's your brownstone."

"No..." Ziva replied, placing her foot on the leg rest and pushed it down. She climbed in his lap, "...it is ours." She gave him a small kiss, "Everything that is mine is yours and everything that is yours..." She looked down, her hands began tugging at the string of his red sweat pants, "...is mine." She grinned, dipping her hand down the front of his pants.

"Heh. You do use it more than me."

"Uhh, huh." Ziva moaned into his mouth before leaned back and standing up. She quickly removed her top, revealing a lacey black bra. She then unzipped her cargo pants and peeled them off, just as easy, showing off a matching pair of panties.

Tony sat forward and was about to stand up, but she placed her foot between his legs, "Stay." She whispered.

Ziva slowly turned around, moving her hands to the her hips. She looked back over her shoulder, seeing if he had stayed, like she told him too and he had. She slipped her fingers down the inside of her panties and bent down, taking her panties with her as she went, "Like the view, yes?" She asked, letting out a chuckle.

Tony was mesmerized, sporting a huge grin, amongst other things.

Ziva teasingly backed up, stepping out of her panties before placing her hands on his knees. She slowly lowered herself to him, pressing herself gently to his lap, "Are you ready for me?" She teased him, already knowing the answer. She spun around and slivered up his body, her knees pushing his legs together. Her hands gripped his neck as she grinded her butt against his hardness. She kissed him, "You are definitely ready." She moaned into his mouth.

Tony's hands slid around to her butt, lifting her slightly as she pulled at his pants, unleashing him. She moved up and gasped as she sat back, taking him inside her. Her fingers tightened around his neck, quickening her pace until the recliner gave way and they fell back, nearly bumping heads.

"You okay?" Tony asked, cupping and caressing her cheeks with his hands.

Ziva laughed and nodded, "I guess I got a little too excited?"

"Hey, sometimes the ninja comes out, ya know?" Tony sofly kissed her on the lips, "A little out of control, but totally worth it." He smiled.

Ziva smiled back, "Do you want to go to bed?"

"Naw, lets stay right here and do it ninja-style."

"Ninja-style?" Ziva laughed, lowering her mouth to his. She smiled as she raised her head back up, "As you wish, Sensei."

* * *

><p>Ziva unlocked the door to their new home and opened it. She was about to step inside, when Tony grabbed the back of her shirt, stopping her. She turned, looking up at him, "What is it?"<p>

Tony quickly scooped her into his arms and carried her across the threshold, "Welcome to...wait, does our house have a name?"

Ziva laughed, "Home."

"Really? That's it...that can't be it, umm, lets call it something we're fond of, like, uhhh...the fuck palace?" Tony grinned.

Ziva snorted, "No. Just no."

"Heh. Okay, we'll work on it." Tony sat her down on her feet and started to undo his pants.

"Really, Tony? As soon as he step into the door?"

"What? It's as good a place as any." Tony lifted his hands, letting his pants fall around his ankles, "Ready!" He grinned and joyfully exclaimed, "Let the christening begin!"

Ziva rolled her eyes and turned, shutting the door behind her, letting out a smile just as she closed it.

* * *

><p>AN - JLC's character must die. Hard. She's so fucking annoying.<p>

AN2 - My wife ate an entire 5 lb gummi bear in one day. I don't know if that's impressive or scary.

AN3 - Thanks, Doe and builds a shrine to Cote's ass for Amber. Peace out and fudge!


	24. Housewarming Gift

A pause sign with a red dot next to it was on a viewfinder.

"Are you recording now?" McGee asked, glancing over at Abby as she sat in the passenger seat.

Abby swung the video camera, bringing Tim into focus, "Not yet."

"What are you doing then?" McGee brought the car to a stop at a red light.

"Just get the kinks out." Abby stated, zooming in on McGee's face, so close she could see his nose hairs, "You really need clip your nose hair, McGee."

"What?" McGee shot his head around and immediately pushed down on the video camera, lowering it from his sight.

"Awww, Timmy, you never let me have any fun." Abby pouted, but McGee ignored her, so she gave up...for now.

"I don't know about this." McGee spoke up.

"Know about what?" Abby asked, closing the viewfinder and lowered the camera into her lap.

"The party isn't until two, but...we're heading over there now..."

"Yeah, so...they'll need help setting things up and stuff, ya know?"

"Yeah, I guess...but this is Tony and Ziva we're talking about."

Abby laughed, "What? You think we're gonna walk in on them having sex and something?" She turned her head and looked at McGee who shifted his eyes towards her. She laughed again, looking at the clock in the car's console, "It is just after twelve and you know what that means, right, Tim?"

"What?" McGee asked with a curious squint.

Abby playfully backhanded up on the shoulder, "Nooner, silly."

McGee let out a chuckle, "Oh, yeah." He smiled, but it quickly disappeared, "They're so having..."

* * *

><p>"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Ziva gasped. She was kneeling on the edge of the bed, her arms pulled back, held at the wrists by Tony.<p>

"You like that?" Tony thrusted playfully, sporting a huge smile on his face, "Want me to go faster?"

"Uhhh, huh." Ziva moaned.

Tony let go of her wrists and she fell forward. He leaned in, moving with her, his legs were snug against the bed, anchoring him into place. He slowly began to quicken his pace, the echoing of their bodies smacking together grew louder and louder by the second.

Ziva buried her face into bed, which lifted her butt further into the air, giving him even more control, allowing him to go that much deeper.

Tony's thumbs were tracing along the dimples in Ziva's back, his fingers gripping at her hips, fucking her with every damn inch of his cock.

Ziva's muffled screams sent Tony over the edge. His thrusting came to sudden stop, only the heaving of his chest remained. His eyelids fluttered as his body began to twitch.

Tony let go of Ziva's hips, the blood feverishly rushed back into his whitened knuckles. She pushed herself up, catching him by surprised. She pressed her back against his chest and reached back with her arm, grabbing the back of his head, bringing it forward over her shoulder, rotating it slightly. She turned her head and they shared a winded kiss. She smiled as she broke the kiss and fell forward, crashing back to the bed.

* * *

><p>Tony opened the door. The viewfinder zoomed in on his face, "Does this mean I should go find my copy of Scarface?" He quipped.<p>

Abby laughed.

"Huh?" McGee was lost.

"You are so lame, McGee." Abby spouted, "Yo, MTV Cribs?"

"Oh...that! I never got that." McGee confessed, "Sorry."

"Of course you didn't." Tony grinned. He stepped aside and gestured them in, "You're a little early, but..."

"Wow." Abby scanned around, "You're unpacked and everything."

"Not everything." Ziva called out.

Abby shot towards Ziva's voice, zooming in on her, "Why is your hair wet?"

"What?" Ziva asked.

"Were you two just having sex?" Abby asked.

"Yes/No." Tony and Ziva called out.

"AHHHHAAA!" Abby exclaimed, "Wait, you two gave two different answers, didn't you?"

"Nope/Yup." Tony and Ziva replied. Then looked at each other, smiling.

Abby laughed, "Okay, who wants to give me the tour?"

Ziva smiled, "Come with me." She waved Abby over.

* * *

><p>Ziva and Abby stepped through a set of French doors coming out of the kitchen and into the back yard. Tony and McGee were standing next to a huge built in grill, which was off to the right of the swimming pool.<p>

"They have a firing range downstairs, McGee." Abby shook her head in disbelief.

"What?" McGee asked, looking at Tony, "Really?"

"Hey, don't look at me, it's hers...she got that and I got my mancave."

"Yes, it is my...shecave, yes?" Ziva chuckled, "Anyway, I guess Abby is going to the store with me, what am I getting again?"

"All the cookout essentials: hamburger, hotdogs, brauts, beer, chips...uhh, dip?"

Ziva nodded with a smile, "Okay..."

Tony jogged over to her, giving her a peck on the lips, "Get the hamburger without pink slime."

"Ewwww." Ziva shuddered at the thought.

"Heh. Exactly."

* * *

><p>Ziva and Abby pushed their shopping cart up to the meat department at the grocery store.<p>

"Can I help you?" A man behind a display case asked.

"Yes, give me ten pounds of hamburger." Ziva stated, "Do you think that is enough, Abby?"

"Yeah, should be." Abby said, then added, "And without pink slime."

"Yes, what she said." Ziva nodded.

"Don't worry, our meat is cut and grinded fresh daily." The man smiled, "You want that in one package or separated?"

"One is fine." Ziva answered and looked at Abby, "Can you get that for me, I need to check on something."

"Sure." Abby smiled.

The man behind the counter grabbed a large scoopful of hamburger from the case and started piling it onto the scale until it read just over ten pounds, "Anything else?"

"Nope, that should do it." Abby replied. The man wrapped up the meat and reached out, passing it over the counter to Abby. She lowered the package into the cart and set off to find Ziva. She passed several aisles until she saw her, she was standing halfway down the aisle reading a box, "Everything okay?"

Ziva turned, looking up the aisle at Abby, "I am..."

"You're..." Abby stopped the cart next to Ziva and looked at the box in her hand, "...ohhhh."

* * *

><p>"Ziva...where are you?" Tony spoke into his phone, "You and Abby have been gone for close to two hours."<p>

"You know, Tony, there is suppose to be meat at a BBQ, right?" Gibbs stood next to the grill.

"Yeah and you should have a beer in your hand, too."

Gibbs looked at his hand, "I knew something else was missing."

"TONYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" Ziva yelled.

Tony turned, seeing Ziva running at him. She jumped into his arms, knocking him back and into the pool.

Tony and Ziva rose to the surface, "What was that f..." He spat water from his lips.

"I'm pregnant." Ziva blurted out, water dripping down her face.

"What?" Tony uttered in shock, "Did you say pregnant?"

Ziva nodded aggressively.

"Pregnant?" Tony again ask. His hands moved to Ziva's face, cupping her cheeks, "Pregnant, pregnant?"

Ziva smiled and nodded one last time and Tony embraced her, giving her a huge kiss and holding her tightly.

Gibbs turned, looking at Abby as she stopped next to him, "You guys went to your lab, didn't you?"

"Yup." Abby smiled.

Gibbs smiled as he watched Tony and Ziva in the pool, he wasn't their father, but he felt like a proud papa, "You guys did get meat, right?"

Abby laughed.

* * *

><p>AN- Yes, that is how my wife told me about one of her pregnancies.<p>

AN2 - She's not into picante sauce anymore. She's back to gummi bears and hot fudge...sometimes together.


	25. Israeli Alarm Clock

Tony was lying on his back in bed. Ziva was on her side, her arm draped across his waist, her head resting on his chest, "Tony..." She began.

"Hmm?" Tony answered, half asleep.

"Are you awake?"

"Hmm?"

Ziva turned her head slightly, kissing his chest, letting the tip of her tongue dart over his nipple, "Tony..." She repeated.

"Hmm?"

Ziva sighed and swung her leg over, straddling his legs. She sat back on her heels and tossed back the covers, revealing their naked bodies to the crisp air conditioned air. She lowered her mouth, running her tongue along his member, letting out a moan as she did. She raised to her head to see his reaction, but nothing had changed, "Really?" She shook her head, but let out a wolfish grin, not giving up. She quickly crawled up his body, plunging herself onto his face.

Tony called out in a muffled voice, which made her grind harder, adding in a chuckle for good measure. She leaned forward, bracing her hands on the back of the headboard and slowly started to rotate her hips. She closed her eyes, her mouth dropped open, he had finally gotten the hint and she was definitely getting a nibble.

Tony's hands wandered to her ass, giving her cheeks a squeeze as he rolled over, taking her to her back. He shot up between her legs, giving her a kiss, "Why didn't you just wake me?"

Ziva scoffed, letting out a tired laugh, "I tried."

"Well..." He smiled down at her, giving her another kiss, "That's a mighty fine alarm clock you got down there."

Ziva chuckled, "What are you waiting for?" She asked with a smile, "I did not push a snooze button."

* * *

><p>The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Tony and Ziva stepped out and made their way to the bullpen.<p>

"There they are!" Abby exclaimed, grinning ear to ear. She ran over to them and placed her hands on Ziva's stomach, "So precious, so exciting, so..."

"Spoiled." Gibbs added.

Abby swung her head towards Gibbs, letting out a laugh, "You got that right."

"Abby, are you going to do this everyday?" Ziva asked.

"Probably." Abby quickly answered.

Ziva looked at Tony, "I knew that."

"Heh." Tony nodded.

"I can't wait until she's here!" Abby squealed.

"She?" Tony asked.

"Yeah, Tony, a girl. Ziva's having a girl."

"You been talking to Miss Cleo over at the Psychic hotline or something?" Tony quipped.

"No, I have my own psychic on speed dial, but that's not why I know she's having a girl." Abby started to explain, "Look at her, she's...that's a woman, Tony."

"Uhh, I'm pretty sure it's the man who determines the sex of a baby, Abby." McGee stood up, joining the conversation.

Abby turned, giving McGee a cold stare.

"Never mind." McGee stated, sinking back into his chair.

"But I want a boy, Abby." Ziva made it be known.

"NO!" Abby yelled, "We girls have to stick together, plus...I already bought the onesie."

"And it's pink, right?" Gibbs asked.

Abby sighed, "Yeah...and I lost the receipt."

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva were spooning in bed, his hand rubbing at her stomach in a large, circular pattern, "Do you really want to have a boy?"<p>

"Yes." Ziva smiled, "I get a long better with men."

"And what if it's a girl?"

"Abby will be happy." Ziva laughed.

Tony slid his hand to Ziva's shoulder, gently pushing her to her back, "Ziva..."

"I will name her Tali and she will remind me of my sister..." Ziva closed her eyes, tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

Tony caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, "Hey, you don't have to name her Tali, ya know?"

Ziva nodded, "Yes, yes I do."

"Okay." Tony lowering his lips, kissing her, "But, hear me out...I was just thinking, if it's a girl and we name her Abigail, we'd have free babysitter for life."

Ziva snorted, letting out a laugh.

Tony quickly sat up and turned to his side, pressing his ear to her stomach.

"What are you doing?" Ziva asked.

"Don't worry, this is old Native American trick...hmmm, yeah, that's what I thought."

"What is it?" Ziva was intrigued.

"Something's coming." Tony turned, looking up at her with a smile, "Soon."

* * *

><p>AN1- My wife nearly killed her mother last night. Don't worry, it would've been justified.<p>

AN2- Who knew gummi bears and sex would stop someone from killing someone.

AN3 - Happy May, everyone, may it be better than fucking April!


	26. Albatross!

Ziva stood in front of the bathroom mirror running her fingers through her damp hair. A yellow shimmering silk robe clunge to her body, the belt tied loosely around her waist.

"Awww, you didn't wait for me." A disappointed Tony stated from the doorway leading to their bedroom. He slowly made his way over, placing his hands on her shoulders, giving them a gentle squeeze before pushing the silk from her right shoulder and kissing it, "Jump back in the shower with me."

Ziva spun around and smiled up at her husband, "No, I am going to bed and you have two choices, you can either a) come with me and make love to me or b) We both know you're going to choose a." She smirked, giving him a peck on the lips, "Besides, do you want me to get all plummy?"

"Heh." Tony grinned, "Pruney, not plummy."

"Nevertheless." Ziva shrugged and pulled away from her husband, taking a step towards the door. She pulled at the belt of her robe and walked out of it, letting it fall behind her. She stopped as she reached the doorway and looked back over her shoulder, gesturing downward, "He's on my side, are you?"

Tony looked down, the massive bulge in his pants was definitely on her side. And with that, he yanked at his clothes, ripping at them, leaving a trail of clothes in his wake as he followed her. He stepped into the bedroom to find that she was already in bed, the covers pulled up to her neck.

"What's taking you so long?" Ziva asked, "I nearly fell asleep." She chuckled, lowering the corner of the covers and patting the bed for him to join her, but he had other ideas.

Tony slipped into the bed at the bottom, crawling his way up to her, but ceased his movement half way.

Ziva giggled, "That tickles." She began, only to let out a deep, throaty moan moments later. She sat up for a mere second before falling back down. His hands slid out from under the covers, his thumbs were pressed into her stomach as his fingertips dug into her sides. Her hands moved to his, fighting his fingers until she interlocked hers with his. She squeezed his hands tightly, holding them firmly against her sides as he feasted on her, "Ken." She gasped, "Ken, ken, ken."

"Mommy." A voice called out.

Ziva's eyes shot towards the voice, a small boy was standing near the open door to the hallway. She yanked up on the covers, covering herself, "Albatross, Albratross." She quickly called out, but gasped hard, still in the midst of being pleasured by her husband. She reached under the covers.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow! What I do, what I do?!" Tony exclaimed in pain as she popped his head out from under the covers.

"ALB-A-TROSS." Ziva repeated in a loud whisper.

"What?" Tony squinted at her, "Where?" He asked, turning his head, seeing his son standing at the corner of the bed, "Oh, f...crap." He caught himself. He turned his head, "You didn't lock the door?"

"I thought you did."

"Well, I thought you did...no matter...anyway...you distract, I'll grab him, on two, ready? Break." Tony said.

"What?" Ziva uttered.

"Nevermind. Football. I'm going in, I mean, I'm leaving now." Tony gave his wife a peck on the lips and disappeared back under the covers.

Ziva sat up, bringing the covers to her chest with her left hand and held out her right hand to her son, "Did you have a bad dream?"

Their son made his way to his mother, Bert the farting hippo in hand. He shook his head no, "Can I have some water?"

Ziva smiled, cradling the back of her son's head, stroking it softly, "Of course you can."

Tony came up from behind his son and lifted him into the air, "Awww." He let out a make groan, "I hear someone wants a glass a water." He smiled at his son.

"Yup!" His son smiled back.

"Come on." Tony turned around and started towards the door, but stopped when his son asked.

"What were you doing under their, Daddy?"

"Heh. You saw that, huh? You're quite observant, like your daddy." Tony grinned, "I was, uhhh...spelunking?"

"What's that?" The younger DiNozzo wondered.

"Cave exploring." Tony answered, thinking it wouldn't hurt to tell the truth.

"Mommy has a cave?"

Tony nervously laughed, not wanting to turn around, because he knew his wife was shaking his head at him, "Come on, lets get you back to bed."

"Daddy?"

"Yeah?"

"I saw Mommy's boobies." The boy gleamed, a huge smile on his face.

"Heh. Are you trying to get me killed, kid?"

* * *

><p>Tony made his way back into his room, he closed the door behind him and locked it. He looked at Ziva and grinned, taking off his pants, "Where were we? Oh, I know..." He went to slide back into the bottom of the bed.<p>

"Really? You still want to have sex? Our son just walked in on us."

"I locked the door." Tony pointed back at the door with his thumb.

"So that makes it better?"

"Uhh, yeah, he can't walk in now, problem solved...wait, is this because he saw your boobs? I mean, he lived on them for almost a year."

"No, it is not that...it is."

"Embarrassed?"

"Yes."

"Don't be, you have beautiful boobs and your cave..."

Ziva laughed, "Stop."

"It's cute, cuddly even." Tony grinned.

Ziva rolled her eyes and shook her head, tossing back the covers, "Come on." She smiled, inviting him back to bed.

Tony slipped back into bed and they started to kiss.

"Mommy...Daddy."

"What is it Anthony?" Ziva called out.

"Can I sleep with you?"

Tony and Ziva looked into each other's eyes, "Yeah." They both said at the same time.

* * *

><p>AN1 - It's been awhile and a lot of things have happened. The most important being that I became a father for the 4th time, a little boy named Benjamin. He's awesome!<p>

AN2 - Remember, always lock the door before starting coitus.

AN3 - This chapter gives new meaning to Cote's, "He's poking a cave."


	27. The Handle

Ziva pulled a garage door remote from the pocket of her light blue windbreaker and turned onto a cul-de-sac. She pressed the button and jogged up her driveway and through the still rising garage door. She passed between a set of vehicles and clicked the button once more, watching as the the door closed behind her, before heading into the house. She made her way into the kitchen, removing the ear buds from her ears and left her iPod on the counter. She stepped over to refrigerator and opened the door, taking out a bottle of Gatorade. She broke the seal and took a long, much needed drink.

"Have a good run?" A voice asked her behind.

"I would have woke you, but..." Ziva spun on her toes towards the voice and fell back against the fridge, "Uhh, Tony, you are..."

"Roguishly devilishly handsome?" Tony asked with a grin.

Ziva softed chuckled, rubbing the cold bottle against her cheek, "Naked."

Tony looked down, "Oh. That. Yeah." He stepped closer to her.

"What if someone was at the door?" Ziva asked.

"I wouldn't answer it." Tony replied.

"What if I forgot my keys?" Ziva countered.

"You came in through the garage."

Ziva laughed, "Seems like you have all the answers, yes?"

"Seems like it." Tony reached out, taking the bottle from her grasp and placed it on the counter behind them. He raised his hands back up, sliding his fingers along the side of her head and went to kiss her.

Ziva turned her head away, "I am all sweaty."

Tony eased her face back towards him, "So?" He kissed her softly on the lips, "I like being sweaty." He smiled, looking deep into her eyes, "For the right reasons."

Ziva stared back just as deep, but reached past him, grabbing her bottle of Gatorade with one hand while taking a hold of his manhood with the other, "Come on." She whispered, giving him a tug.

"Where are we going?" Tony asked.

"To make you sweat." Ziva replied sweetly.

Tony took a step, following his wife, but stopped, "Hey, you finally found a new use for my penis, it makes a mighty fine handle."

Ziva chuckled, "Cute...now come or I will not let you."

And he did.

* * *

><p>Tony was standing in the shower alone. He had large red marks across the top of his butt and upper back. Ziva followed him in and ran her fingers along the red marks across his buttocks.<p>

Tony clenched his teeth, trying to hide his obvious pain.

"Did that hurt?" Ziva asked.

"Nope, it's all good." Tony confidently answered.

Ziva gave him a good smack on his backside.

"Y'owwwwwwww!" Tony shrieked in pain.

Ziva chuckled, "You were the one who could not wait, had to have me ride you on the stairs. You are now regretting it, yes?" She questioned. She slid past him in the shower to see facial expression on his face as he answered.

Tony shook his head rapidly side to side, "Not at all."

"Tony..." Ziva began, knowing that he was lying.

"Fine, it hurts like hell, but I don't regret it for a second."

Ziva smiled up at him and then sat down in front of him on the shower bench and placed her hands on his hips, "Let me make it better."

"And how are you going to do that?" Tony asked, looking down at her, "You like to watch it grow, don't you?"

Their eyes connected, her smile grew as she licked her lips, opening them, "Not as much as I like to feel it."

Tony let out a sharp exhale, feeling her warm, wet, gentle touch.

"Does that feel good?" Ziva whispered, "Make you feel better?"

"Heh." Tony joyfully exclaimed, "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, yeah." He gasped as she began again. His hands moved to her head, holding it, embracing it as she pleasured him immensely.

Tony pulled his fingers from Ziva's hair, pushing his arms outward, bracing himself against the shower walls as he got closer and closer to his sexual zenith. He tried warning her, but she would have none of it. She wanted him to come in her mouth and she would make sure he did.

Tony's body trembled as his seed leapt from his body. His head flew back and he stumbled.

Ziva's fist held onto him, pulling him back to a steady position. She arose from her seated position and kissed at his chest, her hand slowly stroking his still hard shaft, "You were right." She whispered.

"I was..." Tony took a deep breath, trying to settle himself, "About what?"

Ziva cupped her husband's face with her free hand and ran her thumb over his lips, pushing down his chin, allowing her to kiss and nibble on his lower lip, "It is a good handle." She chuckled.

Tony let out a tired laugh.

Ziva started kissing Tony's chest, "Do you know what I love doing more than anything in this world?"

Tony shallowed hard, clearing his throat, "Shooting?"

"Nope." Ziva continued to kiss his hairy chest.

"Throwing knifes?"

Ziva giggled, pulling her head back, "Making you come."

Tony fully opened his eyes, looking down at his wife, "That feeling is mutual." He expressed, giving her a peck on the lips, "And speaking of which." He said, cradling her butt with his hands and lifted her off her feet.

Tony carried her out of the shower and sat her out on the bathroom vanity.

"No, no, no, no, no." Ziva quickly remarked, "Pick me back up."

"What?"

"Take me to bed, you might want red marks on your ass, but I certainly do not." Ziva smirked.

"Heh." Tony grinned, picking her back up, "Yes, dear."

* * *

><p>Tony and Ziva were laying on their sides, face to face, their noses inches apart. He slid his hand over, caressing her cheek with his palm, "God, you're beautiful." He stated, giving her a kiss, "I don't tell you that enough."<p>

Ziva smiled, "You tell me that everyday."

Tony kissed the love of his life again, "Like I said, I don't tell you that enough." They shared a few more kisses before he said, "How about we make love one or time before..."

"Do you still have 'stuff?'" Ziva giggled.

"Did you just air quote, my 'stuff'?" Tony asked with a grin.

Ziva kissed her husband, "Maybe." She added.

"Don't worry, whenever you're around, my balls work overtime."

Ziva let out a huge laugh and rolled over on top of her husband and began kissing him passionately before sitting up and patting his stomach with her hands, "I'm ready when you are."

Tony sat up to meet her, giving her another kiss, "Afterwards, how about we go get Tony and grab a bite to eat?"

Ziva nodded with a smile.

"Chinese? Italian?" Tony asked, giving her a kiss after each choice, "Mexican?"

Ziva shook her head no, "You know what I am actually craving?"

"What?" Tony wondered, giving her yet another kiss.

"A Baconator." Ziva answered with a grin.

"Heh. You haven't wanted one of those since you were pregnant."

Ziva just smiled back at him.

* * *

><p>AN - And on the seventh day, God created the Baconator.<p>

AN2 - "'You know what I also like about being sweaty? It allows easier access to tight places.' Tony grinned." Unused lines from the cutting room floor.

AN3 - TPTB, give me happy, loving, horny and humping-like-bunnies Tiva before the show ends, please. BTW, Ziva is SO Tony's favorite baggy bunny!


	28. All Wrapped Up

Rumbling thunder made Ziva sit up in bed, she quickly turned her body, lowering her feet to the floor below. She stood up, her eyelids heavy from a serious lack of sleep. She lowered her hands to a small bassinet next to her bed, finding the edge with her fingertips, "Ima is here." She smiled through her tiredness. Her hands slipped down into the bassinet, but only felt the soft pillowed lining at the bottom. Her eyes opened wide as she looked down. She spun around, seeing her husband in the corner of the room, he was leaning back in a recliner, their baby daughter sleeping peacefully on his chest.

Ziva smiled and made her way around the bed. She caressed the back of her baby girl's head and carefully took her into her hands, lifting her from her father's grasps, but her tiny fingers clung onto her daddy's pinky, not wanting to let go.

Ziva's smile grew, "Awwwww." She expressed, the cuteness of the situation brought tears to her eyes, "It took me about 7 years to do what you just did in about 2 weeks, Tali." She gently peeled back her daughter's fingers from her husband's finger and lifted her to her chest, "Lets keep this between us, okay?" She whispered, "It will totally go to his head and we will never hear the end of it." She softly chuckled, giving her daughter a kiss on the top of the head.

The baby cooed and Ziva let out a laugh.

"Okay, you have talked me into it, we will tell him tomorrow." Ziva smiled down at her precious little girl, "You are such a Daddy's little girl."

* * *

><p>The End<p>

* * *

><p>AN - May this year truly be the year of Tiva.<p> 


End file.
